


We'll Sing In The Sunshine

by NightAngel97



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blow Jobs, Caring Dean, Denial of Feelings, Destiel - Freeform, Drama, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurts So Good, Inspired by Music, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sick Castiel, Top Castiel, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-09 14:07:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 36,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightAngel97/pseuds/NightAngel97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has had an unlucky love life for as long as anyone could remember,and then he meets Castiel who promises to stay with him for one year. Then he discover's Castiel's secret. Destiel AU, based on the song We'll Sing In The Sunshine.It will be kinda sad, even a bit tear-jerky , but I promise to give it as happy of an ending as I can! M for later chapters of yummy Destiel smut ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So this just kind of came to me, while listening to the song We’ll Sing In The Sunshine by Gale Garnett( I know I know, I have a thing for writing Destiel fics based off of 60’s songs, but I can’t help it (: ) And yes I know I should be working on My other 2 stories (If Man Is Still Alive and Rain, Blood, And Fallen Angels) but this was just sitting on my computer all pretty and typed up so…Yeah :D P.S. Some of my ideas for this also came from the movie Sweet November, just letting you know!
> 
> ~Disclaimer~ Shockingly I don’t own Supernatural, the song We’ll Sing in The Sunshine, the movie Sweet November, or anything else I reference in this story.
> 
> P. S. S. This first part is told from Sam’s POV, just to set up the story, the rest will be in my usual third person POV.

**Prologue**

My brother Dean has never had a very happy life when it comes to love. Although he will never admit it he’s the type to fall fast, hard and more often than not flat on his face when his feelings aren’t reciprocated.

First there was Jo, our neighbor when he was seven he proclaimed his love for her and was instantly punched in the face by the blond haired girl who would later become one of our closest friends.

Then came Richard when he was eleven and first realized he was into boys too. Richard was his best friend and one of Dean’s fellow “cool kids”. Of course when Dean told him how he felt…well you can probably imagine how that went.

After the “Dick incident” as we began calling it Dean swore that he would never love again, that was until he med Lisa his freshmen year. She was the first love he actually got to date…until she realized that it wasn’t love she felt for him but simply lust and cheated on him…with Dick.

As you can imagine that one hit him pretty hard I mean dating a girl for two years, being completely and hopelessly loyal to and in love with her and then having her cheat on you with the one person you loath the most, but he did eventually recover and started dating a British exchange student named Balthazar halfway through senior year. They both entered the relationship in agreement that they couldn’t be anything serious because of the fact that Balthazar would be going back to England in six months. Dean of course fell head over heels and could only hope that the Brit felt the same at the end of the six months. When it came to be Balthazar’s time to leave, Dean asked him to stay- or at least come back -and marry him. Balthazar had declined revealing to Dean that he was engaged to a Duchess and had been since he was fourteen. Dean fell apart at the seams and for me it was little-brother-Sammy-to-the-emotional-rescue yet again.

Finally I got him over Balthazar and into the dating world again. And this time he actually managed to not fall in love with every person he dated, well that was until he met a British girl named Bela his sophomore year in college. The reason for the attraction- although he denied it even to me -was that her accent reminded him of Balthazar. They dated until they graduated and then she told him that she would be going back home after the summer. Dean being in love with her asked if he could go with her, and he would have, he loved her that much, So much that he would have picked up everything, left Kansas, America, even me, but then of course she had  to tell him that she was engaged…to a prince…three guesses on who that prince was. Yep, you guessed it: Balthazar.

He was an even worse wreck than I’d ever seen him before. He refused to date or even go out for a drink in public, or even to the grocery store. He moved with me to California when I went to Stanford and then back to Kansas when I finished. He was a twenty-eight year old who only left the house for work and spent the rest of his time in our garage polishing his Impala or in the house sleeping and for a while there it seemed as if that was the way he was going to spend the rest of his life.

Then one night I convinced him to go out to a bar for a little fun.

Then there was Castiel.


	2. We Could Sing In The Sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update for all of you lovely people! And a day early, I’m so proud of myself!   
> Oh and I apologize if the boys are a little out of character, it’s just kinda hard not to do that with this story, but I’m doing my best :)

Chapter 1 We Could Sing In The Sunshine

“Dean, come on you haven’t left the house in two weeks.”

Dean lifted his head off of his pillow and squinted at his nuisance of a little brother. “Yeah, I’m on forced, paid vacation, where else would I go?”

Sam sat on the edge of Dean’s bed and shrugged, “I don’t know…out maybe?”

Dean sat up, fully awake and glared at his brother. “And why would I want to do something like that?”

“Dean…it’s been five years since you’ve gone out on a date.”

“And your point is?”

“I think you should date again. Or at least leave the house for something other than work; hang out with some friends for a while.”

“I don’t do friends, Sammy. We both know that I’m incapable of having a friend without developing a crush on them,” He huffed, hissing out the word _crush_ like it was some dread disease.

“Then just go out with me, we can go have a drink and if you maybe meet someone…”

“Do you not remember how things have ended every other time I’ve ‘met someone’?”

“Dean…”

“Jo, the ‘Dick incident’, Mikael, Lisa, Balthazar, Bela, Benny, and those are just the memorable ones.”

Sam’s face twisted in confusion, “Who the Hell is Mikael? And more importantly who the fuck is Benny? Why didn’t you tell me you dated someone after Bela?”

“Mikael was the first guy I kissed, in eighth at Meg Master’s party, seven minutes in Heaven that whole thing. We made out for seven minutes but after that he punched me and never spoke to me again.” Sam made a “Huh” noise and Dean continued. “As for Benny…I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘dating’. He was the cab driver who drove me home from the airport when Bela left. I had sad, revenge sex with him and when I suggested we see each other again he laughed in my face then left. I didn’t feel that he was worthy of being mentioned before.”

“Dean, I get that you’ve been hurt- a lot -but please come out with me tonight. Just this once, if you don’t like it I promise I’ll never drag you out with me again,” He gave Dean his best puppy-eyes.

Dean couldn’t say no to Sam’s puppy-eyes and that bastard knew it. “That’s cheating, Sam, you can’t use puppy-eyes to get everything you want.”

Sam smiled, “Oh, can’t I?”

Dean sighed, “Fine I’ll go, but I won’t have fun. I’ll get drunk and you’ll have to either carry me home or leave in an alley to be raped by a homeless person.”

Sam blinked at his brother and shook his head, deciding that he didn’t want to ask. “Just get your coat,” He told him hopping up.

~o0o0o0o~

Sam had left Dean sitting alone, pretending he had to use the bathroom. He stood instead in a dark corner watching Dean mope in his barstool, sipping a margarita. “Hey, there.”

Sam turned to see a short man with brown hair smiling up at him. “Oh, sorry I’m not…gay.  I just dragged my brother here, to get him out of the house.”

The man nodded but stayed at Sam’s side. “Which one’s your brother?” Sam gave him a skeptical look. “My name’s Gabriel by the way. And I don’t bite unless, you know,  it’s requested of me.”

Sam smiled. “I’m Sam, that’s my brother, Dean.” He pointed to Dean’s general direction.

Gabriel scanned the men on that end of the bar. “Is he the one in the leather chaps or the one moping over a margarita?”

Sam laughed, “The second one.”

“Not my type. He looks more my brother’s type.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. “How so?”

“Sad, but handsome…Cassie he…he kinda needs someone to take care of, you know? Someone to make happy to take his mind off of his own life’s troubles.”

“Which one’s your brother?” Sam asked thinking that whoever he was he would be perfect for Dean.

“That one.”

Sam look to where the smaller man had pointed to see a guy about Dean’s age, leaned against the far wall with a sad but serene expression on his face, and a beer in his hand. “Huh, Dean might need somebody like him.”

“Already done,” Gabriel said.

Sam turned to see Gabriel putting his phone away. He looked back to see Gabriel’s brother pulling his phone out. He read the screen and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and he looked over to where Dean was sitting.

Dean was starting to get pissed at his brother, if that Son of a Bitch had left him here- His train of thought was cut off when he felt someone sit down in the stool next to him. “It’s about fucking time, Sammy! What-” He froze as he seen that it wasn’t his brother sitting next to him. The guy was about his height with dark hair and the most beautiful blue eyes Dean had ever seen. “Sorry I thought you were someone else.”

The guy nodded, his face staying neutral, “Your boyfriend?”

Dean shook his head, examining the man next to him, “No my, uh, my brother.”

“Would it bother you if I purchased you a drink?” The man asked in his rough voice.

Part of Dean screamed no, but the rest screamed yes, as the stranger’s voice sent chills up and down his spine. “Sure, um, I’m Dean by the way.”

The man smiled and Dean felt his insides melt. “Hello Dean.” He turned to the bartender and ordered Dean a new drink. Dean got his drink and sipped it nervously. “Would you like to see me again, Dean?”

Dean smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. “I like you,” Dean froze remembering himself. “I mean…I just met you but…You know what fuck it. Do you want to know the truth?”

The man tilted his head curiously, “Yes, Dean, I would like that.”

Dean took a deep breath, “Okay, I have a shitty dating history, a shitty liking people history actually. I tend to fall head over heels for someone as soon as I meet them, and then not admit to them that I do that, and deny it even to myself. That’s just me, for someone who hates chick-flick moments my life sure as Hell has a lot of them.” Dean paused to catch his breath. “I like you, and I can’t lie this time if we ever see each other again, there’s a very good chance that I’m gonna fall in love with you.”

The man stared at Dean, mesmerized by his eyes and smile, and spoke without thinking, “Then let’s hopes we see each other again.” He stood and left the bar before Dean could collect his thoughts, and ask for his name.

~o0o0o0o~

“So Dean, who was that guy I seen you talking to?”

Dean looked up at his bother. “What guy?” He asked nonchalantly.

“Don’t pretend I didn’t see you accepting a drink from a trench coat wearing stranger.”

“Yeah he seemed nice so I let him buy me a drink. So?”

“So?” Sam shot him a Bitch Face #9. “So who was he? What’s his name? And most importantly are you seeing him again?”

Dean shrugged reaching for his toothbrush. “I didn’t catch his name, he left before I could ask.” Dean chewed his lower lip nervously. “As for seeing him again…I don’t know I mean I guess if we’re both at the bar another night and happen to run into each other, then yeah we might.” He shrugged again, shoving his toothbrush into his mouth to avoid answering anymore of Sam’s questions.

Sam’s jaw dropped, one night out and Dean was already falling for someone. “So you’re planning on going out again?” He tested.

Dean nodded and spit into the sink. “Yeah I mean I’m off on vacation time, what else have I got to do? What you don’t want me going out?”

“No, no, you can do whatever you want, you’re an adult.” Sam managed to stay neutral until he got into his room, where he grinned and basically jumped for joy. Dean had met someone and by what Gabriel had told him that someone would actually treat his brother well and not shit on him like everyone else had.

~o0o0o0o~

The next night Dean went back to the bar and sat in his same seat. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t go but after sitting around the house all day thinking about Mr. Blue Eyes- as he started mentally calling the stranger -he found that he couldn’t wait. He sat calmly on his stool sipping a beer and willing himself not to fidget, for nearly an hour before Mr. Blue Eyes walked in. Dean’s face fell when he seen the shorter brown haired man who walked in next to him. Mr. Blue Eyes scanned the bar for a few seconds before they landed on Dean and he walked over leaving the short man behind.

“Hello, Dean,” Mr. Blue Eyes greeted, sitting next to him.

Dean looked at him in frustration. “So why’d you leave your boyfriend by the door? Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

The man looked at him in confusion with his head tilted to the side for a moment before he realized what Dean was talking about. “Me and Gabriel…Dean Gabriel is my older brother.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, Seriously,” Mr. Blue Eyes told him, offering him a small smile.

“Oh,” Dean remained silent for a moment trying to come up with something to say. “We should get out of here.”

Mr. Blue Eyes looked at Dean in shock, “Are you insinuating that-”

“Shit no!” Dean shook his head realizing how that must have sounded. “I meant like…Would you maybe want to go to a diner or something. There’s this little one down on the corner that serves the best cheese burgers, hands down.”

“Oh,” Mr. Blue Eyes examined him for a moment before nodding. “Yes I suppose that would be alright. But as for the cheese burgers…”

Dean looked at him thinking, _Crap he’s a friggin Vegetarian!_ “Yeah?” He prompted.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” He gave Dean another small smile and stood gesturing towards the door.

Dean grinned at the blue eyed stranger and led them to Black Bear Diner. They sat in a booth and looked around awkwardly for a few moments waiting for a waitress. “So…” Dean looked across the table to meet the stranger’s intoxicating eyes. “I didn’t catch your name, and I would really like to know so that I can stop mentally calling you Mr. Blue Eyes.”

The man giggled, actually _giggled_ and Dean swore that it was the cutest sound in the world. He generally hated it when someone giggled even if he liked said person, it just always seemed so fake and forced. But this man’s was sweet and honest and made Dean want to cuddle him like a teddy bear.

The man looked down shyly before looking back up, biting his lower lip. “It’s Castiel.”

Dean tilted his head and tested the name. “Castiel. Huh, interesting name.”

“Well I am an interesting person,” He looked down at his menu, then back up do Dean. “Or so I have been told.”

Before Dean could respond their waitress came over to take their orders. They both ordered a classic cheese burger and Dean a black _beary_ milkshake.

“So, best burger in the world?” Dean asked as Castiel bit into his burger.

Castiel chewed and swallowed carefully before smiling at Dean. “These make me…very happy,” He whispered taking another bite.

Dean laughed, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Castiel nodded.

The meal was eaten in a comfortable silence until Dean’s milkshake arrived. The waitress smiled at them giving Dean his milkshake and setting the metal mixer on the table as well. Dean offered the mixer to Castiel, who accepted it with another smile.

“So…” Dean looked up at Castiel as he dipped a French fry into his milkshake. “Tell me about yourself.”

Castiel cleared his throat. “Um…I…I guess I’m not that interesting,” He gave a nervous laugh and looked down at the table.

Dean looked at him curiously but nodded. “It’s okay if you don’t want to get to know each other better.”

Castiel’s eyes shot up at the note of sadness he heard in the other man’s voice. “It’s not that Dean. I would _love_ to get to know you better. I’m just not…good at opening up about my personal life.”

Dean nodded, “Um, okay…I can work with that. Um, what would _you_ like to know about _me_?”

Castiel gave him a shy smile. “Everything. Start wherever you like.”

“Okay, uh, my name’s Dean Winchester, I’m an Aquarius,” His first sentence had the intended effect when Castiel giggled again. “I’m a doctor.”

Castiel’s smile widened. “Ooo, lucky me, a rich doctor.”

Dean shook his head. “Let me clarify that before you get your hopes up: I’m a doctor at the free clinic on Monrovia Street.”

Castiel reached across the table, placing his hand over Dean’s. “Even better.”

“How?”

“It means you care more about helping people and saving lives than a fat paycheck. It shows that even though you come off kinda rough, on the inside you’re a walking, talking marshmallow Peep.” He nervously sipped at his milkshake, waiting for Dean’s reaction to being a called a fluffy, pastel Easter candy.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, or I’d punch you in the face for calling me friggin Peep,” Dean told him with a crooked smile.

Castiel blushed; he’d never clicked with someone like this on the first date before. “You think I’m cute?”

“I think you’re fucking adorable.” Dean dropped his eyes and fidgeted, waiting for Castiel to reply. Castiel just smiled at him as they finished their milkshakes. When the check came Dean ripped it from Castiel’s hands, insisting that he pay.

“Thank you for paying, Dean, but next time it’s on me,” Castiel told him firmly as they headed towards the door.

“Deal,” Dean told him, opening the door for him.

“You’re such a gentleman,” Castiel told him walking out.

Dean reached for Castiel’s hand, sighing in happiness when the other gripped his hand firmly.

 “No one has ever been this nice to me before,” Castiel admitted.

“What kind of assholes have you been hanging out with, Castiel?” Dean asked him seriously.

Castiel shrugged. “So, where’s your car? I’ll walk you to it.”

“It’s…oh, my brother has it. I only live a couple blocks away, I walked, but I can walk you to your car if you want?”

Castiel smiled, “I walked too.” He thought for a moment and before his better judgment and common sense could stop him he was saying, “I can walk you to your house though, if you don’t mind my company.”

Dean looked down at the sidewalk, “I actually live kinda far…” He admitted, somewhat embarrassed. “How about I walk you to yours?”

Castiel nodded. “This way,” He said and began leading them in the direction of his house.

“I had a nice time tonight, Castiel.”

“So did I. More fun than I’ve had in a really long time actually.”

“Think maybe we could do it again sometime?” Dean closed his eyes for a second, bracing himself for rejection.

Castiel thought about it for a moment it had been nearly six months since his last “relationship” had come to a terrible end. He looked to Dean and seen the sadness already plastered onto his beautiful face. Dean needed him. “Yes, I would like that.”

Dean smiled, tightening his grip on Castiel’s hand. They made it to his front porch before Dean spoke again. “So maybe we can do something Tuesday if you want? It’s only a couple days away.”

Castiel contemplated Dean’s offer for a moment before countering, “What’s wrong with tonight?”

“Huh?” Before Dean knew what was happening Castiel had his back pressed to the front door and was placing a surprisingly gentle kiss on his mouth. Dean’s shock wore off quickly as Castiel continued to kiss him and run his hands slowly up and down his sides. “Yeah tonight’s good,” He whispered against the shorter man’s lips. Castiel broke the kiss to turn and open his door. Once they were both in he closed the door and led them to his bedroom, being sure to lock the door behind himself. Dean laid Castiel on the bed and climbed onto of him, only to have Castiel roll them over so that he was on top. “Before we do this, did I mention that I’m probably going to fall in love with you?”

“Yes,” Castiel told him. His face turned serious and he rolled off of Dean to sit next to him. “We need to talk.”

“Well that can’t be good,” Dean mumbled sitting up and looking at Castiel. “What’s up?”

“I’m not…I can’t fall in love with you. That’s not my job; my job is to help you.”

Dean’s face twisted in confusion. “Job? Did Sam fucking hire you?”

“What? No! That’s not what I meant, I-Shit!” He ran his hands through his hair. How could he have been this stupid? Every other time he’d done this he had been sure to clearly explain things before they ended up in his bedroom, but with Dean…well he just kind of got lost. He sighed and started how he should have hours earlier. “As I said I will never love you, but I will stay with you for one year.”

“You…What? You’ll stay with me one year? What are you planning to do for this one year exactly?”

“I’ll sing to you each morning and kiss you each night…I’ll teach you that not everyone is going to hurt you, and that you can find love and…and we’ll sing in the sunshine.” Castiel took Dean’s hand in his and looked into his eyes, pleadingly. “I can tell that you’re life has no happiness in it, you work, you drink, you sleep, that’s it. No girlfriend, no boyfriend, no _friends,_ you don’t even have any pets.”

“How do you know I don’t have any pets?” Dean asked trying his best to sound pissed. Which he was but there was also a part of him that knew Castiel was right.

“People who own pets usually give off a vibe, you don’t give one. Why, _do_ you have a pet?” He tilted his head.

“As a matter of fact, yes, I have a 300 gallon saltwater aquarium filled with lots of different types of fish and mollusks.”

Castiel’s eyebrows knit together for a moment before he burst out laughing. “Fish don’t count, they’re cold blooded! And as far as your _mollusks-_ ” Castiel fell into another laughing fit.

Dean gave Castiel his best glare, shaking his head. A smile slowly crept across his face when he thought about how beautiful Castiel looked when he laughed. Unfortunately the happiness didn’t last. “So uh…” He cleared his throat, “What happens when the year is finished?”

That succeeded in bringing Castiel out of his laughing fit. His face turned serious. “I’ll be on my way and you can find someone to love and marry and…just be happy.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, trying to decipher his thoughts. On one hand he wanted to say Hell yes and fall into Castiel’s arms for the next year. On the other hand which was the thick-headed side, was yelling at him to get the Hell out of Castiel’s house, right the fuck now and never look back. Somehow the second side won. Dean stood from the bed. “No, I…I can’t.”

Castiel sighed, standing up in front of him. “Can’t or _won’t,_ Dean?”

Dean rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, feeling small and vulnerable under Castiel’s intense gaze. “Maybe a little of both,” He finally admitted. “But I just…I gotta go.” He turned and walked out of Castiel’s room. He had made his way to the front door before he felt Castiel’s hand on his shoulder.

Castiel turned Dean around and sighed at the mix of hurt, anger, and confusion in the other’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Dean. And I still want to help you, so…think about it.”

“Castiel,” Dean sighed. “I like you I do, but…do you realize how fucked up what you do is?”

Castiel sighed, but nodded. “I am aware.”

“No, I mean seriously, you’re like a total freak,” Dean went on.

Castiel flinched at Dean’s words before sighing again and pulling Dean into a brief, but affectionate kiss. “Just think about it.”

Dean huffed, shaking his head. “You really don’t know how to take no for an answer do you, buddy?” Dean huffed and disappeared out of Castiel’s front door.

“You have no idea,” Castiel mumbled with a small smile. He knew he would see Dean again, because as Dean had said: he was incapable of taking no for an answer, especially when he was aware of the fact that a part of Dean had wanted to say yes. It was simply a matter of convincing the rest of Dean, and Castiel was very good at convincing. Having Gabriel for a bother could do that to a person.

Dean had no idea what he was in for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there it is. Please leave some reviews. I’ll try having the next one up before this time next week :) (sooner is I get a bunch of review and manage to get all my school work done)


	3. Try Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yay, here's the next chapter! Special thanks go out to happyless for the comment!

"Dean…"

"I said I don't want to talk about it," Dean hissed, burying his head under his pillow.

"It's been a week since you've gotten out of the house, just tell me what happened!" Sam demanded.

"No, Sammy. I said I'm fine. Now go out and have some fun with your friends."

"Fine," Sam huffed, leaving Dean's room with a slam of the door.

Dean groaned rolling over. Maybe if he just…No he wasn't going to go over to Castiel's house. No way, not gonna happen. He sat up and looked across the room at his aquarium, the sound of Castiel's laughter instantly filling his head. He grit his teeth because, dammit, he wanted to hear that laughter in person again! He was contemplating just smashing the damn fish tank so that it would no longer be there to remind him of Castiel, when the doorbell rang.

He groaned again, crawling out of bed and padded to the front door, ripping it open with a scowl on his face and a hiss of, "What?" He was met with nothing. "Huh," He began pushing the door closed when he heard a small mewling sound. He looked down and seen a small cardboard box with holes in it, sitting on his porch. "Oh, Hell no." He picked up the box, caring it inside and sitting down on the couch with it. Dean braced himself and opened the box to be met with another mewl. "What the actual Hell?" He asked the small ball of fur within the box.

Dean picked up the ball of fur, shoving the box from his lap to get a closer look at the fluffy creature. He held it up and was met with a pair of wide blue eyes looking at him from the fluff of black fur. "Son of a bitch," He muttered to the kitten.

"Meow?"

He sighed and looked down into the box to see a small envelope. He let out another sigh, plopping the kitten into his lap and gabbing the envelope. He held the kitten in place with one hand and ripped the envelope open with the other, dumping its contents next to himself on the couch. He picked up the piece of paper first, not even wanting to look at the other item. The letter read in neat print:

_Dearest Dean,_

_As you guessed, I do not take no for an answer._

_I truly wish to help you Dean, you seem like a sweet man when given the chance and I would love to get to know you better over the next year._

_I know you are skeptical and I understand. Believe me when I say that I sometimes sound like a crazy person even to myself, I cannot imagine how I must sound to a virtual stranger._

_So in hope of getting you to accept my offer I'm giving you a small taste of what this next year will bring._

_As you may or may not have guessed, I have done this before- several times in fact – over the course of the last several years- if you wish to hear about them sometime, I would be more than happy to tell you. Over this time I have developed a bit of a pattern, if you will. One element of said pattern is to gift the person I'm with an item each month._

_That being said: Happy July. He is a rescue kitten, you may name him whatever you like._

_I will see you soon,_

_Castiel_

_P.S. You may or may not have noticed that the envelope also contained a simple key. This is a key to my front door; use it whenever you are ready._

Dean ran a hand through his hair, sighing in frustration as he looked from the ball of black fur in his lap to the plain silver key on the cushion next to him. "This man is going to be the death of me," He told the kitten who replied with a small meow. "Why me?" He asked the animal, meeting his bright blue eyes.

"Meow?"

"Don't pretend that you don't know!" He scolded the ball of fur. The kitten took no notice to his harsh tone, simply curling into a ball in his lap and starting to purr. "No, oh Hell no. You are so not making yourself comfortable here."

The kitten lifted his head, "Meow."

"I said no. Look, you're cute and all, but I don't know how to take care of you," He reasoned. "And I know that the man who gave you to me is crazy- and I mean completely bat shit -but you gotta go back to him." Dean shook his head at himself. "And I'm having a conversation with a friggin cat." He let out a sigh of frustration and looked to the key again. "Shit."

~o0o0o0o~

Dean readjusted the kitten in his arms and knocked on Castiel's front door. After five minutes of no answer, Dean reached into his pocket to use the dreaded key. For a moment he actually hoped that the key wouldn't work, but it turned easily. He pushed the door open and tentatively stepped in. "Castiel?" He asked. No reply. "Great," He mumbled to the kitten, "Just great." He shut the door and began walking down the hall towards Castiel's room. Halfway down the hall he came face-to-face with a short man that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

The shorter man's eyes widened. "Who are you and why the Hell are you in my house?" He asked in a panicked voice.

Dean looked at the man skeptically, he looked vaguely familiar and for a second Dean grew jealous that maybe Castiel had found someone new already. Then it hit him. "You're Gabriel right? What are you doing here?"

Gabriel looked slightly less panicked for a moment, then his fear increased because, how did this person know his name? "Yeah, I'm Gabriel. I live here!" Gabriel squawked pointing to door he had apparently come out of. " _Who are you_?"

"M-my names Dean," Dean took a step back from shorter man, beginning to worry that Gabriel might pull out some type of weapon to defend himself with.

Gabriel tilted his head in the same manner he'd seen Castiel do. "Hi, so uh why are you in my house?"

"I'm here to see Castiel," Dean offered, adjusting his kitten.

"And why are you here to see my little brother?"

"Castiel is my…my…I uh, don't really know what to call him…" Dean looked down to the kitten in his arms, hoping that its blue eyes would hold the answer.

Gabriel's eyes followed Dean's to the ball of fur in the taller man's arms and understanding dawned in his eyes. "Oh! You're Cassie's 2013!"

"Uh, yeah…wait no," Dean shook his head. "No, no, I'm not Castiel's '2013.' I just came to return the…this." He held up the kitten, who meowed in protest. "So if I could just give it to you then-"

"No," Gabriel interrupted.

"What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I mean, I'm not touching that ball of fur with a forty foot pole; I'm allergic."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Then what do you suppose I do with It?"

"How about you wait for Cassie to get home? He should be back from the shelter in fifteen minutes or so."

"The shelter?" Dean asked.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Cassie volunteers at the homeless shelter on weekends…Just…" Gabriel huffed out a sigh. "Just wait in his room, yeah?"

Dean gave Gabriel one last look. "Sure yeah, I'll do that."

"Good," Gabriel sighed, disappearing back into his room. Dean stood awkwardly in the hallway for a moment before, walking the rest of the way to Castiel's room. He sat on the edge of the bed, glancing around the room. After a moment he sighed and began playing with the kitten, slipping into a cuteness induced daze while he waited, not even noticing when Castiel entered the room sometime later.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean jumped, looking up to see Castiel. "Oh hey, sorry got sidetracked." He looked at his watch to see that he'd been sitting in Castiel's room for nearly forty-five minutes.

"It's okay," Castiel said with a small smile. "Have you been here long?"

Dean shrugged. "A little while."

Castiel nodded, hanging his trench coat on the door and coming to sit next to Dean. "Hey, little fella," He greeted the kitten, scratching in between his ears. "Have you named him yet?"

"I-" Dean looked up at Castiel and snapped out of his daze, "I'm not keeping it, Castiel. I came to give it back."

"Oh," Castiel's said in a small voice, his brow wrinkling. "Then why didn't you just leave him with Gabriel?"

"Because he's allergic," Dean stated matter-of-factly.

"Gabriel's not allergic to cats," Castiel laughed.

"Of course he's not," Dean sighed. "Look either way, I'm leaving now, so-"

Castiel cut off Dean's words with his lips, reaching up to place a hand on the back of the other's neck and pulling his closer.

Dean moaned against Castiel's mouth, loving the way Castiel's plump lips fit against his.

Castiel broke the kiss and chuckled at the sight of Dean still leaned forward with his eyes closed and his lips puckered. "You can go now, Dean."

Dean's eyes flicked open and he straightened back up, having another internal battle. Finally he let out a sigh. "Okay."

"Okay," Castiel echoed, moving to stand up.

Dean caught his arm and pulled him back to the bed. "No, Cass, okay as in 'let's do this'," He licked his lips nervously as he watched Castiel stare at him in silence. Of course this would be the moment where Castiel bust out laughing said  _'Just kidding!'_ and kicked him out of his house.

When Castiel finally spoke, what he said couldn't have been farther away from what Dean had expected. "You called me 'Cass'," He whispered with a small smile. "No one's ever called me that before."

Before Dean could reply with some remark considering the length of Castiel's name, those amazing plump lips were back on his mouth. He moved a hand from the ball of fur purring in his lap to run his fingers through Castiel's hair.

Castiel broke the kiss again, the corners of his mouth still pulled up into a smile. "If we do this, we do this. We commit to each other, body, mind, and soul for the next year. Are you prepared to do that, Dean?"

Dean, to his own shock found himself nodding. "Yes, whatever you say, Cass." He leaned forward and attacked Castiel's neck with nips and kissed.

Castiel smiled, resting one of his hands on the back of Dean's head. "Seeing as we have an entire year, we are going to take things slow, Dean. Do you hear me?"

Dean nodded, nuzzling Castiel's collarbone.

Castiel couldn't help the blissful smile that spread across his face. He couldn't believe that it had been over six months since he had been touched like this. "Unfortunately, that means no intercourse until the third date."

Dean made a small whining sound and began sucking a bruise into Castiel's throat.

"I didn't say we couldn't have some fun, just no penetration until the third date."

Dean pulled away, giving Castiel a funny look. "Dude, who uses words like 'intercourse' and 'penetration'?"

Castiel tilted his head to the side. "I do."

Dean grinned and began peppering kisses up Castiel's neck, talking in between kisses, "Okay fine, no 'intercourse' or penetration' of any kind until the third date." He finished with a slow kiss to Castiel's slightly-chapped lips. "God, I love your lips," He blurted before he could stop himself.

Castiel gave him a small smile. "Yours aren't so bad either," He replied.

Dean leaned in for another taste of Castiel's amazing lips just to be stopped by one of the other man's fingers being pressed to his lips. "What?"

"Before you're allowed to do that again, you have to name your present," Castiel gestured to the kitten still purring in Dean's lap.

"Why can't you just name him?" Dean asked, vaguely aware of the fact that he was whining.

"Because, Dean after…" Castiel paused, puzzled at the trouble he was having getting his next words out, "After…I'm gone, you'll keep him…so he should have a name you like."

"Fine," Dean pouted, picking up his kitten and examining its eyes. "Alright, um…Angel." The kitten let out a small noise that sounded like a hiss. He turned to Castiel, "Did he just hiss at me?"

Castiel shrugged, a serious look overtaking his face. "I guess he doesn't like that name."

"Okay then," Dean turned back to the kitten. "Demon." He was met with another hiss-like sound.

"Try something mare creative," Castiel suggested.

"Fluffy?" This time it was definitely a hiss. "Okay, okay, Rohan?" The kitten meowed and began to purr. "Okay, Rohan it is." He turned to Castiel who was smiling at him.

"I like it," Castiel commented, reaching out a hand to pet the kitten.

"Does that mean I can kiss you now?" Dean asked hopefully.

Castiel leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Dean's forehead. "Perhaps later..."

"Why the Hell not?" Dean snapped in frustration, causing Castiel to flinch. He sighed working to keep his cool. "Shit, I'm sorry Cass, I'm just…not used to going slow," He looked down at Rohan. "I really am fucking sorry."

Castiel placed a finger under Dean's chin, tilting his head up and meeting his hazel-green eyes. "It's fine, Dean. I understand." He gave Dean a quick peck on the lips. "Would you like to get something to eat?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice," Dean nodded, his heart melting at the soothing sound of Castiel's voice.

"Where would you like to go?" Castiel asked, carding his fingers through Dean's hair.

An idea popped into Dean's head, something to make up for what a jackass he's been to Castiel. "I'll cook for you," He announced, stroking Rohan's fur.

Castiel raised an eyebrow, "You wish to cook for me?"

"Hell yeah!" Dean exclaimed, jumping up. "I want to cook for you! I actually  _want_ to cook for someone! God, I haven't wanted to cook for anyone since…" His voice suddenly died out and his eyes, drifted down to the kitten clutched against his chest,

"Since?" Castiel prompted, standing and placing a gentle hand on Dean's shoulder.

Dean cleared his throat, "Since…Bela."

"Oh," Castiel said simply, deciding that he would find out who Bela was later. "Would you like to cook here or would you prefer your own kitchen?"

"Mine," Dean said quickly.

Castiel nodded, grabbing his coat, "As you wish, Dean."

Dean grinned, switching his hands around so that he was holding Rohan in one and could grip Castiel's in the other. "Let's go."

~o0o0o0o~

After a quick drive they arrived at Dean's house. Dean led Castiel inside, setting Rohan down on the couch before heading for the kitchen. "Um…make yourself at home, I guess," He called back to Castiel, already pulling out cooking supplies.

"Thank you," Castiel called back, picking up Rohan and wandering around Dean's cluttered living room. After a moment he began to feel uncomfortable walking around Dean's house, looking at pictures of his family. "Do you live alone?" He asked, coming to stand in the kitchen doorway.

Dean shook his head, cracking an egg into a bowl. "Why do you ask?"

Castiel shrugged. "It just seems like a lot of room for only one person." He came further into the kitchen, perching on a stool in the far corner. "Well, one person and his multiple varieties of fish and mollusks," He added with a smirk.

Dean looked up from his batter to grin at Castiel. "Yeah, uh, I share with my little brother, Sammy."

Castiel tilted his head, "And where is he?"

"Out with some friends," Dean answered, moving over to rummage through his refrigerator. "Yahtzee!" He cheered, holding up a pack of bacon for Castiel to see.

Castiel chuckled. "What exactly are you trying to cook me Dean?" He asked looking between the bacon and the mystery batter on the counter.

"Breakfast," Dean answered, opening the bacon and tossing it into a frying pan.

Castiel gave Dean a curious look. "Dean it's 7:30 at night."

Dean shrugged, pulling out another pan, "Yeah so? Haven't you ever had breakfast for dinner?"

Castiel shook his head, scratching between Rohan's ears. "No, Dean I can't say I have."

"Huh," Dean said, switching the burners of his stove on. He grabbed the bowel of batter and moved it over to sit next to the burner holding the empty pan. "You  _do_  like pancakes right?" He asked suddenly worried.

Castiel nodded. "Yes, Dean."

Dean sighed in relief. "Good…that's good." He sent a smile over to Castiel and continued cooking.

~o0o0o0o~

"Am expected to eat  _all_ of this?" Castiel asked, staring at the piles of pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs covering the middle of Dean's table.

Dean laughed nervously. "Well we don't have to," He sent Castiel an apologetic smile. "Sorry, it's been a while since I've cooked anything…I guess I just got a little carried away."

Castiel shook off Dean's apology and began filling his plate with bacon and eggs. He smiled at Dean who was doing the same, then dove into his food, unable to stop the small moan that escaped his lips as he chewed his bacon.

Dean looked up startled. "You okay, Cass?"

Castiel nodded, shoving his mouth full of more bacon. "Gabriel doesn't allow me to eat bacon…or pancakes," Castiel explained.

"So you just let your brother control you like that?" Dean asked puzzled.

Castiel's eyes widened slightly as he comprehended what he had just said. "No," He began explaining. "It's not like…Personally I believe that it's just so that he has more for himself."

Dean chuckled and nodded, smiling at Castiel, he could totally see himself doing something like that to Sammy. He watched Castiel eat for a moment before picking up his fork and muttering, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Doing what?" Castiel asked, swallowing.

Dean made a gesture at the room. " _This._ You. Cooking…All of it."

"Oh," Castiel breathed, setting his fork down. "Are you having second thoughts?"

He looked up to see that Castiel's eyes were wide and somewhat hurt looking. "Shit," Dean mumbled, cursing his inability to just enjoy a situation. "I might be," He admitted, setting his own fork down.

Castiel nodded. He had known that this wouldn't be as easy as gifting Dean a kitten. "I can go if you'd like."

"No," Dean told him instantly. "No, I'm just…It's just like…I don't know, I'm…I'm not used to having nice things happen to me. You know? So this…you, is just kind of overpowering. But, I…I don't want you to leave, I just…" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck! God, I don't know what it is about you, but I just…I want to be open and honest with you, you know? Say whatever it is I'm thinking like I always do, but I can't find the words to say anything to you. I just-"

"Dean," Castiel interrupted, standing and walking over until he was next to Dean.

Dean turned his chair out to face him, "Yeah, Cass?"

Castiel kneeled in front of Dean, taking his hands in his. "It's okay. Just…breathe. I'm here. I'm yours for an entire year. For an entire year, I will teach you that not everyone will treat you like people in the past have, you just have to try me. Okay?"

Dean nodded, "Okay."

Castiel stood and returned to his seat. "Alright, so since it's apparently not a good idea to eat in silence and allow you to overthink, how about you tell me about you're past relationships?"

"You  _want_  to hear about those train wrecks?" Dean asked in disbelief.

Castiel nodded, slowly chewing and swallowing before speaking again, "Yes, in the past I have found that it can be helpful to…vent about all past relationships."

"I vent," Dean argued. Castiel raised a brow at him. "I do! To Sammy…"

"Do you go into every detail?" Castiel countered.

"Y- why would I?"

"You can't move on unless you've let it all out."

Dean examined Castiel skeptically. "Who died and made you Dr. Phil?"

Castiel tilted his head. "I don't understand that reference, Dean, but trust me I have had enough experience in this to know what I'm talking about."

"Fine," Dean huffed, crossing his arms.

Castiel chuckled, "You look like a five year old Gabriel who was forced into eating a piece of broccoli instead of a chocolate bar."

Dean burst out laughing, finally starting to relax again. "Alright, you ready for this? It's pretty bad."

"I'm sure I have heard worse," Castiel encouraged, grabbing a pancake.

"You wanna bet on that?" Dean joked.

"Why not," Castiel said. "What do you wish to wager?"

Dean smirked, "A blow job."

Castiel's composure faltered for a second before he nodded, "Deal."

Dean's smirk widened, "You asked for it…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's that! Please leave me a review, if you don't sending an adorable black kitten to each and every one of you in order to get a review is not beneath me ;)
> 
> At the latest chapter 3 should be up by next Wednesday or Thursday (faster if I get lots of reviews) and will contain a blow job as well as Castiel's dating history :)


	4. One Detail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so sorry it's been a while and sorry this chapter is so embarrassingly short and also that there is no blow job, but If I didn't post this now there wouldn't be an update till like a week or so into June. Yeah by the way there most likely won't be another update until the second week of June, because the end of the school-year and middle of performance season craziness has just hit me in the face and I have no time to think up good plot. Thanks go out to happyless and Jessi for the reviews :)

“That’s it?” Castiel asked. “That’s all the details?”

“Well not _all_ the details…”

“Dean, I told you…”

Dean shook his head stubbornly.

“Alright,” Castiel sighed. “One. Just give me one detail about each relationship you’ve never told anyone before.”

Dean continued to look at him with a mix between stubbornness and uncertainty.

“A blow job is on the line here, Dean,” Castiel prompted.

Dean sighed. “ _Fine._ Okay so, you remember Jo, from when I was seven and how we became pretty good friends afterwards? Yeah well we kinda lost our virginity to each other freshman year, and then she started dating some dude with a mullet and our friendship was never the same again.”

Castiel’s jaw dropped, but he quickly closed it before Dean could see his reaction.

“During the whole ‘Dick incident’ Dick told the entire school that I was gay and even went as far as spray-painting dicks on my locker.” Dean glanced at Castiel to see that he was still happily munching pancakes, then continued, “Something Sammy doesn’t know is that Mikael actually asked me to blow him in that closet; and I did.

“Lisa wasn’t in love with Dick, no she actually got pregnant from Dick and tried to pin it on me.”

“What a bitch,” Castiel muttered through his mouthful.

“Balthy gave me my first oral and after we broke up he posted the video on the internet.

“Bela…no Bela was such a heartless bitch all the time that there aren’t even any secrets there.”

“And Benny?” Castiel asked.

Dean shrugged, “One night stand with a hot cab driver, there isn’t really any more too it.” Dean punctuated his sentence with a defeated sigh and a drop of his head.

“Are you okay, Dean?” Castiel asked.

Dean nodded, “Yeah. Why?”

“Good, because, I’m not going to pretend that you didn’t kind of ask for that last one,” Castiel spoke, shoving yet another forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

“I know,” Dean replied lamely.

“Alright, as long as you’re aware, because seriously Dean, revenge sex with a _cab driver?_ “ He shook his head. “But I am nonetheless sorry that it happened. You didn’t deserve it, or any of the others for that matter.”

“Thanks, Cass…So...” He trailed of for a moment before speaking again. “Have you heard worse?”

Castiel shook his head, finally setting his fork down and pushing his plate away after what must have been his hundredth pancake. “No, Dean, honestly I can’t say that I have.”

The room fell into an awkward silence with Castiel finished speaking and Dean uncertain as to whether or not to bring up their bet. Finally Castiel broke the silence, “That being said, I believe I owe you a blow job.”

Dean’s mouth went dry. “You don’t have to,” He heard himself speaking. _Wait a minute,_ He thought a second later, _Did I Dean Winchester just deny a blow job from someone as hot and amazing as Cass._

Castiel seemed taken aback by his statement as well. “You made the bet Dean, I just assumed that you would want one…if-“

“No I just…I don’t want to pressure you into doing something this… _dirty_ just because of a bet.”

Castiel stood, coming around the table to Dean as he spoke, “That’s sweet Dean, but trust me over the next year we are going to do things far dirtier than blowing each other.”

Dean’s jaw dropped at Castiel’s words. “Damn, Cass, I didn’t think you’d be the kinda guy who has a dirty mouth.”

Castiel smiled, gripping both of Dean’s hands in his and lifting him from his chair, “You have no idea.”

**To Be Continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I hope you liked it :) A review sadly won't get a chapter up sooner, but it will keep me inspired for writing when I do get a chance to sit down and write again :)


	5. Tell Me Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long and again sorry for such a short chapter, I'm just having trouble with this story right now, I know what I want to do, I'm just having trouble putting it into words and filling in a few blank spots. Anyways here's the promised blow job…definitely not my best written oral sex, but hey a blow job's a blow job, right? Thanks go out to everyone who has bookmarked and left kudos, you guys are awesome!

**Tell Me Everything**

The next thing Dean knew he was being pushed down into a sitting position on his bed and receiving a lapful of Castiel. After recovering from the initial shock, Dean greedily devoured Castiel's mouth with his own, rubbing the other man's back in slow circles.

Castiel smiled into the kiss, pressing his pelvis down into Dean's ever so gently as he nipped at his lower lip.

"Cass?"

"Yes, Dean?" Castiel hummed, kissing along Dean's jaw.

"No offence, but I thought you said you were gonna suck me off not suck my face off?"

"It's called 'foreplay', Dean," Castiel whispered, nibbling Dean's earlobe. "And now that you mentioned it, I might just do both."

"Damn," Dean moaned, pulling Castiel's mouth back to his hungrily.

Castiel allowed Dean to control the kiss for a moment before taking control again and moving his lips down Dean's neck to suck a mark there.

"Mm, Cass," Dean breathed, bucking his hips up in search of friction.

Castiel gave one final lick to the mark he had made on Dean's neck before pulling Dean's shirt off over his head and kissing his way down the center of Dean's bare torso as he slid off the other man's lap to kneel on the floor between his legs. Castiel smiled teasingly up at Dean as he massaged the area around Dean's straining erection.

Dean let out a small mewling sound at the teasing, "Cass…"

At the sound of his name Castiel finally unbuttoned Dean's jeans and began palming his cock through his boxers. Once he was satisfied, he pulled Dean's boxers out of the way as well and took in the sight of Dean's swollen member. Castiel took Dean's length into his hand and began stroking it with a teasingly loose grip.

Dean bit his lip, "Cass, come on, dude, you're killing me here."

"Patience, Dean," Castiel told him.

Dean was opening his mouth to protest when he felt the first wet swipe of Castiel's tongue licking across the head of his cock. "Shit," He mewled as Castiel took his head into his mouth and sucked it much too gently for Dean's liking. "That feels good, Cass, but seriously do you know how to get someone off or just tease them to death?"

Castiel sucked gently at just the head of Dean's cock for a moment longer before deciding that it was time to show Dean just how good he was at getting someone off and taking his cock all the way in to deep throat him.

"Fuck!" Dean cried out in surprise and pleasure. "Shit, Cass, warn a guy next time."

Castiel pulled off of Dean's cock and met his eyes, "It was to my understanding that you wanted me to go faster. Was I wrong?"

"I…no," Dean managed to get out.

"Alright, then," And with that Castiel had Dean's cock in his mouth, humming and swallowing around it.

Dean was slowly losing the ability to think coherently, he had a second to think that Castiel was crazy and that he was in fact trying to kill him before he was being brought to the edge of his orgasm, embarrassingly quick. "Cass, I'm going to come," He warned. Castiel's only response was to suck and lick harder as well as taking Dean's balls into one of his hands. Dean groaned and then he was coming in thick spurts down Castiel's throat.

Castiel continued sucking, successfully milking Dean dry before releasing his softening cock with a moist pop.

"Shit, Cass," Dean mumbled. "I don't think I've come that fast since I was a teenager."

Castiel blushed at the praise, tucking Dean back into his pants before moving up to sit next to Dean, "You were doubting my sexual skills, I had to show you that you were wrong," He deadpanned.

"I will never doubt your sexual skills again," Dean vowed. He smiled lazily at Castiel for a moment before cupping his cheek and placing a gentle kiss to his lips, "Your turn."

Castiel tilted his head, "My turn for what?"

"I spilled my history, now I want to know yours."

Castiel nodded slowly, "What would you like to know?"

"Alright, first off; how'd you get into this?" He asked.

"Into what?"

Dean turned to give Castiel a  _'seriously?'_ look, but was met with a look of honest puzzlement. " _This,_  Cass," He said, gesturing around them, "The whole 'singing in the sunshine' thing."

"Oh,  _this,_ " Castiel moved up on the bed so that he could lean back against the headboard, "It's a long story, that I'm sure you do not wish to hear."

Dean moved to lean next to Castiel, "I do. I mean, you listened to my sob story; the least I could do is listen to yours. And besides, I'm curious."

"You honestly wish to know?" Castiel asked in disbelief.

"You sound surprised," Dean countered, slinging an arm easily over Castiel's shoulders.

"Well, yes, to say the least, Dean."

"How come?"

"You're the first to inquire with such insistence," Castiel replied, settling into Dean's side.

Dean gaped at Castiel in shock, "So basically what you're saying is that you played Dr. Phil, as well as a lover and bestfriend to these people and they never  _once_ wanted to know about your life? How you got to where you are? I mean no offence, but it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out that what you do isn't normal and is probably absolute Hell to put yourself through."

"First of all Dean, there is no such thing as a rocket surgeon," He said slowly, "And second, when they asked I...I told them that they would not like to hear it. They simply accepted it and never again brought up the subject."

"Well I'm not accepting it," Dean told him, reaching over to take one of Castiel's hands in his free one. "Tell me everything, Cass. And I mean  _everything_. Start with how you started."

"Dean…"

"Cass…" Dean countered stubbornly.

Castiel nodded, squeezing Dean's hand, "As you wish, Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you go! Let me know what you think. Next chapter will be Castiel telling Dean "everything" and maybe some more smuttiness if I'm feeling inspired. And I will try to get it up as quickly as possible, so probably a week…or three…


	6. Samandriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well at least it wasn't as long of a wait as last time :P And seeing as I only have an excuse for the last two weeks of no updating I'm truly sorry for how long it's been.
> 
> Thanks go out to all the peeps who have read, bookmarked, and left kudos!

**Samandriel**

"I guess it all started with Samandriel…I was volunteering at the treatment center at the hospital when I met him," Castiel began, choosing his words carefully as to not give away the whole truth. "I was kind of lost at the time, I'd just gone through a string of bad relationships and he was just there. I fell in love with him and then…then his cancer came back and he died. We had just over a year together, but during that year he sang to me, every day and it was the best year of my life, because he showed me that not everyone is a bad person and that there is always hope, and that one year can change someone's life. That even if the rest of their life is complete shit, you can give someone one good year that can make all of the shit worth it, one year of bliss to counteract a lifetime of pain and sadness."

Dean gave Castiel a sad smile as he spoke, "So that's why the one year thing and about the singing, but what about the no falling in love thing?"

"That's a rule I came up with on my own. After losing Samandriel I was a wreck, so I vowed to never fall in love with anyone again."

"But you allow them to fall in love with you?" Dean asked curiously.

"Yes, I can control my own emotions, but I feel that it's too much to ask in telling someone that they cannot love me. That never works anyway; I mean you've seen A Walk to Remember, right?"

"I um…" Dean trailed off blushing, "Seen the trailers."

Castiel nodded and continued, "So since then, I've taken one emotionally damaged person on a year and helped them in the same way that Samandriel helped me."

"Can I hear about them?"

"About who?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "The other people, not their whole life stories or anything, but just little things so I can get an idea of what they were like. Like um what types of songs they liked you to sing the best."

"I suppose so…Samandriel was in 2007, he was sweetest person alive…After him was Rachael in 2008, she was kind and had a good heart, but she had the tendency to allow other people to tall he what she wanted from the world, her favorite songs were the slow quiet ones.

"2009 was Inias, he was quiet, and caring, but he had a troubled home life. He liked old love songs." Castiel sighed then rolled his eyes, "2010 was  _Balthazar_  and oh my fucking God!"

Dean sat up a bit, "Balthazar? Please tell me that his last name wasn't Roché?"

Castiel gave Dean a curious look, "Yes actually, how do you know him?"

"I dated him."

Castiel continued to look puzzled for a moment before His eyes filled with recognition, "Your 'Balthy' was my Balthazar. Then you full well what a piece of work that bastard is."

Dean nodded his head, "Oh yeah. Trust me that guys face needs to be next to the definition of 'butt-trumpet' in the dictionary."

Castiel chuckled lightly, "Finally someone else understands what an ass that guy is!"

Dean laughed quietly and kissed Castiel's cheek, "So who was your 2011?"

"No 2011."

Dean made a small "huh" noise.

"What?" Castiel asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You didn't think that I was weird about it or something, did you?"

"No," Dean answered too quickly.

Castiel quirked a brow, "Oh really?"

Dean chuckled lightly, turning his face into the side of Castiel's neck, "Yeah, okay maybe a little bit, yeah." He paused for a moment before proceeding, "So 2012 then?"

Castiel's expression turned sad, "Yeah, there was a girl for about six month in 20012. She had an um, mental history, but she was nice enough, just needed someone who wasn't going to judge her by her past. She liked for me to sing her the newest top pop songs."

"Why were you only together for six months?" Dean asked gently, "Did you have to terminate early because she got too attached or…?"

Castiel swallowed slowly, "We were supposed to go until June 2013, but um she…she killed herself during the whole '2012 the world's going to end tomorrow' thing."

Dean offered Castiel a sympathetic smile, "What was her name?"

"Anna," He replied, his voice becoming thick. He blinked a few times and cleared his throat, "So, that's my story." He offered Dean a somewhat forced smile.

"Damn," Dean sighed. "That…that's pretty fucking bad."

Castiel nodded, his voice returning to normal, "Yes, but knowing that I helped to make their lives better makes it all worth it."

"Well in my personal opinion I think that it was bad enough for you to get a blow job."

Castiel chuckled, but shook his head when his chuckle turned into a yawn, "Maybe next time, but right now it's late. I should get going." He moved to stand up only to have Dean catch his arm. "What?"

"It's just um…" Dean looked at the bedspread next to his legs, "You mean you're not sleeping with me tonight?"

Castiel froze, his eyes widening slightly, "Dean we went over this. I thought that you agreed to no-"

"No, shit not like that!" Dean hurried on with a hint of desperation in his voice, "I meant actually sleeping."

Castiel tilted his head, "You mean you wish for me to literally  _sleep_ …with you?"

"Well yeah," Dean replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, if you…you know, do that sorta thing."

"No I do," Castiel nodded, "I just…well from your appearance I wasn't expecting you to be the um  _cuddling_ type, that's all."

Dean blushed despite his best efforts not to, "Well I don't exactly advertise the fact, but I kinda miss having a warm body next to mine at night."

Castiel gave Dean a gentle smile, "As you wish, Dean." He pecked Dean on the cheek and stood from the bed.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked slightly worried.

"Well you don't expect for me to sleep fully clothed do you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best place to end the chapter, but oh well! Anyways now that the drama and heaviness in over- well not over over, but you know taking a break for a chapter…or five –it's time for some happy and fluffiness! So if you guys have any suggestions on what the boys should do and/or any certain song you want Cass to sing Dean, just let me know :) Oh yeah and leave me feedback to get the next chapter up quicker, I promise it will actually work this time :P


	7. I'll Sing To You Each Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay chapter! Thanks go out to Destielwolves17 for leaving me a comment on the last chaper, your reward: a somewhat longerish chapter with some lovely fluffiness within a week!

**I'll Sing To You Each Morning**

Dean was lying on a blanket, propped up on his elbows on a beach. He wasn't sure of where exactly he was, but he knew that he was warm and content. He sighed as a breeze came up and blew through his hair and he decided that the only way that this place could possibly be better was if he wasn't here alone. And then a voice began singing:

_Someone told me long ago, "There's a calm before the storm." I know it's been coming for some time._

Dean sat up and looked around himself in search of the voice's owner. "Hello?"

_When it's over so they say, it'll rain a sunny day. I know, shining down like water._

"Hello?" Dean repeated, wanting desperately to find the source of the beautiful voice that was filling his ears.

_I wanna know,have you ever seen the rain? I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain, coming down on a sunny day?_

Dean jolted awake to the feeling of gently fingers carding through his hair as the voice continued to sing:

_Yesterday and days before, sun is cold and rain is hard. I know, been that way for all my time._

Dean sighed until he realized that the source of the heavenly voice was a warm, yet foreign pressure against his back. He rolled over in a panic and knocked heads with the person who had been singing to him, cutting them off mid verse. "Who the-!" His voice died out the second he was met with a pair of wide blue eyes and the previous day's events came crashing down. "Oh, Cass…" He said awkwardly, his voice still thick from sleep.

"Good morning, Dean," Castiel offered, rubbing his forehead where it had collided with Dean's. "I apologize, I didn't mean to wake or startle you."

Dean shook his head as he sat up, "No, it's fine, I'm just…not used to waking up next to someone, that's all."

Castiel nodded, sitting up next to Dean and allowing the covers to pool at their waists, "In that case, do you wish for me to continue?"

"Definitely," Dean smiled, allowing his eyes to drift down Castiel's bare torso as he spoke, "Damn, I didn't realize how toned you were last night."

Castiel blushed, not used to receiving compliments, "Um, thanks you, I suppose."

Dean smiled at the sight of Castiel blushing and moved one of his hands to run down Castiel's side, causing Castiel to squirm under his fingers. "Ticklish are we now?" Dean asked teasingly.

"No, not at all," Castiel replied too quickly.

Dean smirked and shifted so that both hands could touch Castiel and proceeded to tickle the dark-haired man.

"No! Dean, stop it!" Castiel giggled as he squirmed, trying to get away from Dean's hands. "How am I supposed to sing to you when you're doing this?"

Dean shrugged, pausing in his tickling for the moment, "Figure it out."

Castiel examined Dean carefully for a moment before he struck and began tickling Dean.

"Hey, not fair!" Dean complained through his laughter, straddling Castiel's lap for better access.

"Sure it is," Castiel countered, trying to squirm out from under Dean while tickling him. After a moment of struggling he opted to simply loop his legs around Dean and roll them over.

"Hey!" Dean gasped in protest. He moved to roll the over again, but instead rolled himself as well as Castiel off of his bed, landing on the floor with an audible thud.

Dean was preparing to ask Castiel if he was alright, when Castiel answered for him by flipping them over yet again and pinning Dean's arms above his head. "Do you surrender?"

"Yes, yes I give in," Dean panted, letting his arms go limp.

Castiel giggled again leaning down as if he were going to kiss Dean, but stopped a couple centimeters from his mouth, "Sorry," He mumbled, "Forgot about morning breath."

"I don't care if you don't," Dean husked, wanting nothing more than to kiss the beautiful and amazing person above him.

Castiel responded by immediately locking their lips together and twining his and Dean's fingers together.

Dean had enough time to think  _I could get used to this._ Before his bedroom door was being thrown open, "Dean are you alright I heard some crashing and-" Sam's words died on his tongue the second his eyes landed on his brother being saddled by a vaguely familiar man, both of them wearing nothing but boxers. "Oh."

Castiel froze uncertain of what Dean's brother's reaction to him would be. "Dean?" He whispered looking to Dean with wide eyes.

Dean maneuvered himself out from under Castiel and helped the smaller man to his feet with him, "Uh, Cass, this is my brother Sam. Sammy this is my um…Cass. My Cass."

Sam quickly fought back the grin that was threatening to make an appearance at the sight of Gabriel's brother here in their house. "Um, hi," Sam offered with a small wave, instead of jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store.

"Hello," Castiel replied, not moving his hands from where they were clasped in front of the bulge in his boxers.

Sam nodded awkwardly, "Okay, so uh, Jess made some breakfast so, if you guys want to get dressed and join us you're more than welcome." He gave them a parting smile and was gone.

Dean chuckled as they got dressed. "So you staying for breakfast, Cass?" Dean asked hopefully once they were both fully clothed.

"I can't," Castiel told him with a small, sad smile, "I have a prior engagement I must attend to today."

"Oh," Dean sighed. "Well I can give you a ride and then-"

"Gabriel is already on his way," Castiel interrupted.

"Oh," Dean sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Then uh, I guess I'll see you when I see you?"

Castiel's brow furrowed for a moment before he comprehended where Dean's mind had gone, "I didn't mean for it to sound like that, Dean," He hurried, taking Dean's hands in his. "As I said I'm yours for the year and there will not be a day in that year that you do not see me. I simply have a few matters to attend to today."

"When will I see you again?" Dean asked, his smile back in place.

Castiel thought for a moment, "I won't be back until late tonight, but you still have the key I gave you correct?" Dean nodded. "Then come over tonight after you're done with your day, bring Rohan and an overnight bag, curl up in my bed and I promise by the time you wake up I'll be there with you."

Dean held Castiel's eyes skeptically until a horn shattered the silence.

"That would be Gabriel," Castiel sighed, his eyes turning sad.

Dean nodded and pulled Castiel into him for a hug, then out slightly to bring their lips together. "I'll be there," He assured, breaking the kiss and resting his forehead against Castiel's.

Castiel smiled happily and brought their lips together again, "Walk me to the door?" He asked against Dean's mouth.

Dean nodded and took Castiel's hand in his as he led him to through the house. Once they made it to the front porch he pulled Castiel towards himself for another hug.

"We don't have all day Cassie!" Gabriel called before tapping the horn again, "Now quit mauling my baby brother!"

"How about you show him a  _real_ mauling?" Castiel whispered playfully.

Dean smirked as he cupped Castiel's cheek and pressed their lips together. The kiss started out slow and soft, but quickly escalated as Castiel's hands traveled from Dean's shoulders down to his ass. Dean moaned, opening his mouth to allow Castiel's tongue within as his own hands knotted in Castiel's messy dark hair.

"Oh for the love of-" Gabriel shook his head and laid on the horn again.

Castiel broke their kiss with a moist pop and was met with half-lidded green eyes, "I really do have to go."

Dean nodded, placing one last kiss to Castiel's kiss-swollen lips, "I'll see you."

Castiel nodded and ran down Dean's path to Gabriel's car.

Dean walked back into the house with a smile on his face and was met with a smirking Sam, "What?" Dean asked.

"So…spending the night already?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "It wasn't even like that, Sammy."

"Uh-hu," Sam chuckled in disbelief, heading to the kitchen to help Jess.

Dean normally would have let it go, but he couldn't have Sam thinking that Castiel was some cheap whore he had used for a one-night-stand, "For your information, Sammy, we just…" He paused contemplating on whether or not to finish this sentence. "Snuggled," He finished in a whisper.

"Good morning, Dean," Jess greeted before Sam could continue his teasing. "Did I see a little black fur ball running around this morning?"

Dean nodded, a smile spreading across his face, "Yeah, um, his name's Rohan, Cass gave him to me."

"You have got it so bad," Sam smirked.

Dean just sat down and poured himself some juice, not even bothering to deny what Sam had said, because yes, only a few days of knowing Castiel and he was pretty much head-over-heels for the guy, but seriously who could blame him? "Like you wouldn't be if you had gone through countless assholes and then Castiel had walked into your life and been…" Dean trailed off unable to think up words to describe how amazing Castiel was.

"Aww," Sam cooed, teasingly while mentally jumping up and down in happiness for his big brother.

"Sam leave your brother alone and go get me the flour from the garage freezer." Jess told him. Sam nodded and left the room "So in all seriousness; is he right?" Jess asked curiously.

"Yeah, I think so," Dean breathed. "Only thing is…"

"What?" Jess asked coming to sit next to him.

"Just…Okay, but you have to promise not to tell Sam."

Jess nodded her head, "I promise."

Dean sighed, uncertain as to why he was about to tell Jess about Castiel. "It's only for a year. Cass he…he goes around helping people who have shitty dating histories by spending a year with them and showing them what it's like to be with someone who cares about them, and when the year is over he leaves to help someone else."

Jess nodded slowly, soaking in Dean's words, "Just…don't let it break your heart please? When the year's over I mean."

Dean looked at her in shock for a minute, he's expected a lecture on how wrong what he was doing was or at least a 'I can't keep this from, Sam.' "Thanks, Jess," He told her.

"Don't mention it," She smiled as Sam came around the corner with the bag of flour.

"Don't mention what?" Sam asked suspiciously looking between his brother and girlfriend.

"Me making breakfast for him," Jess lied seamlessly.

"Yeah well don't get used to it jerk," Sam told him.

"Too late, bitch," Dean smirked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, next chapter should be up, um…soon depending on how many review I get to fuel my muse:)
> 
> The song Castiel sings Dean at the beginning is Have You Ever Seen The Rain by CCR.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I just thought that I would mention the fact that Dean and Castiel's relationship has moved like incredibly fast, but that's because Dean falls hard and fast and Castiel has helped so many people that he just goes with their pace(within reason). On another note I realize that Cass is pretty out of character at times, but I do have a reason. Okay the theory is that at the start of his life he was the awkward angel we all know and love, but through the rough life he has had he has evolved into my characterization of him and the same principal goes for Dean if he is ever a bit OOC. *sighs* Okay I think I'm done now :P Special thanks go out to Destielwolves17 for commenting on the last chapter.
> 
> P.S. Just stating for time line purposes this chapter takes place in late August 2013
> 
> Alright now where was I with the actual chapter? Oh yes…BLOW JOB!

**Hey Jude**

Dean felt somewhat weird just unlocking the door and walking into Castiel's house, overnight bag in hand and Rohan tucked safely into the crook of his arm. All of the weirdness faded the moment Dean pulled back the covers and laid down on Castiel's bed in his boxers. He laid there for a moment, inhaling the smell of Castiel as he looked around the room, noticing both a litter box and food/water station in one of the corners. He sighed with a smile and drifted off into a deep, calming sleep, filled with bright blue eyes and plump chapped lips.

~o0o0o0o~

Dean hadn't even noticed when Castiel had come in sometime around 2am and snuggled up next to and half on top of him, but when he woke up it was to the same heavenly voice as the previous morning, " _Hey Jude don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better._   _Hey Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin. Then you begin to make it better._ " A million memories came crashing into Dean's mind as Castiel sang because that was  _her_ song. Dean didn't even notice the tears that were streaming down his face until Castiel stopped singing and crawled over Dean so that he could face him, "Hey, Dean? Are you alright? What's wrong?"

"Nothing just…" Dean whipped his tears away with the palm of his hand. "My mom used to sing that to me when I was little."

"Oh…Would you like for me to stop?" Castiel asked in a low concerned voice.

"No, I love that song, it just…brings up a lot of memories, you know?"

Castiel bit his lip for a moment, "I actually don't know…but you can…tell me sometime, if you'd like."

"Sometime," Dean agreed, "But for now…" Dean trailed off as he brought their lips together.

Castiel smiled against Dean's lips, rolling them over so that he was on top of Dean with their legs slotted together. Castiel licked along the seam of Dean's lips until the green-eyed man parted them with a sigh.

Dean moaned, their tongues tangling together as their kiss deepened. He hummed, sliding his hands down Castiel's smooth back to cup his boxer-clad ass.

Castiel made a small noise of surprise at the touch and nipped at Dean's lower lip in encouragement.

Dean tightened his grip on Castiel and ground his hips up into Castiel's to discover that Castiel's cock was just as hard as his was. Dean finally broke their kiss with a moist pop and looked up at Castiel with wide lust-blown eyes, "If it's not too much before the third date; I owe you a blow job," Dean husked.

Castiel shivered and locked his lips with Dean's again with a small, hungry noise.

Dean chuckled, rolling them so that he was over Castiel, "I'm assuming that that's a yes to the blow job?"

Castiel blushed at himself, somewhat shocked by his behavior; he was generally very reserved, especially this early in one of his relationships. But he simply couldn't help himself; Dean was simply irresistible, not to mention the fact that it had been eight months since Castiel had had any form of sexual contact. And the fact that he hadn't came in the last few day- not even after giving Dean a blow job –was not helping his self-control. In all honesty Castiel was shocked that he hadn't thrown his own 'third date' rule out of the window already and just jumped Dean's bones completely. Castiel shook his head, clearing it of the majority of his irrational thoughts.

Dean gave him a curious look as if he could tell that Castiel had a million different thoughts swimming around his head, "You okay?"

"Fine," Castiel husked.

Dean smiled down at him and proceeded to kiss down Castiel's body until he reached the waistband of his boxed. He smirked up at Castiel, remembering the way the other man had teased him and began slowly mouthing Castiel's swollen member through the fabric of his boxers until the material was wet and clinging to his cock.

"Oh, Dean," Castiel whimpered, pressing his head back into his pillows.

Dean grinned up at Castiel, satisfied with his teasing for the time being and hooked the waistband of Castiel's boxers. He turned his grin to Castiel groin as he removed the fabric and allowed Castiel's swollen cock to spring free, "Damn, Cass," He husked, discovering that Castiel's cock was just as beautiful as the rest of him. Dean hummed low in his throat and leaned down, licking a stripe up the underside of Castiel's cock.

"Fuck!" Castiel rasped, quickly grabbing the base of his cock, having nearly lost his shit completely.

Dean looked up at Castiel with a raised brow. "Already?"

Castiel blushed, fight off the urge to hide his face, "It's been a while…"

"Well we'll just have to take care of that, won't we?" Dean smiled, removing Castiel's hand from around his cock to replace it with his own to give Castiel's cock a few strokes that were firm enough to have him squirming, but not quite firm enough to bring him to the edge again.

"Dean…" Castiel whined.

"Remember all that stuff you told me about patience now," Dean teased, licking a quick circle around the head of the blue-eyes man's cock.

"Fuck, patience," Castiel growled, bucking his hips up off of the bed.

"Easy, Cass," Dean soothed, massaging Castiel's inner thighs. "I'll get you there in a minute."

"Please," Castiel panted.

Dean gulped at that because fuck if Castiel begging wasn't one of the hottest things in the world. A small growl made its way out of his throat as he took the first few inches of Castiel cock into his mouth and began licking and sucking at it like his life depended on it.

"Oh, God!" Castiel's cried out, his hands fisting in the bed's sheets as his orgasm threatened to take hold after only a few minutes of Dean's attention. "Dean, I suggest that if you want this to last that you-"

His words turned into a strangled moan of pleasure when Dean picked that moment to massage Castiel's balls with the hand that wasn't languidly stroking the part of Castiel's shaft that wasn't in his mouth.

"Dean, I-" And then he was thrown over the edge into his orgasm, thick spurts of come erupting from his cock into Dean's mouth as he writhed and trembled on the bed.

Dean pulled off of Castiel's cock as he swallowed and proceeded to lick Castiel clean. He looked up at Castiel's half lidded eyes and his cock throbbed. He quickly rose on his knees between Castiel's legs and pulled down the waistband of his boxers. "You don't mind do you?" He asked, taking his leaking cock into his hand.

Castiel shook his head and made grabbing gestures with his hands, "Come closer."

Dean gladly obliged, moving up so that he was straddling Castiel's waist and began stroking his cock.

Castiel smiled lazily up at him, and reached his hands up to cup Dean's toned ass. "Fuck Dean, yes. Come all fucking over my chest, baby."

Dean gasped Castiel's name and two strokes later was spilling his release across the brunette's chest. He collapsed forward and captured Castiel's mouth in a slow, tongue filled kiss, marveling at how quickly he had become this comfortable with Castiel. Dean rolled off of Castiel to lie next to him and bask in the afterglow.

Castiel hummed and bit his lip, becoming lost in thought, trying to wrap his head around why he had become comfortable enough with Dean to let go in the bedroom- and in general -like he just had so soon in their relationship. In the end he decided that it didn't matter and that he couldn't wait for it to happen again. After all his time was limited and if Dean was happy and letting go, he was doing his job, so why shouldn't he let go and be happy too?

"What are you thinking about?" Dean asked finally.

"I was contemplating our third date and whether or not it would be frowned upon if we were to have both our second and our third date in one day," He dead-panned, turning his head to meet Dean's eyes.

"What's so important about our third…" Dean's eyes widened and a smile stretched across his face as he caught on. "I wouldn't frown upon that at all," Dean replied, trying for nonchalance.

"Yes, I mean not everyone's ready so early, but I feel in your case that it would be quite beneficial. That being said, I propose that we have our second date this morning and out third this evening," Castiel bit his lip, hoping that he had successfully hid his own hope and desperation from his voice.

"It's a date," Dean agreed.

Castiel flashed Dean a smile that lit up his entire face, "It's a date," He repeated.

And that was the moment that Dean and Castiel realized that they were completely and utterly fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, I don't really know what's going on here…if this was complete crap feel free to let me know, because I feel like this chapter was kinda not good… Anyways good news is that I now know exactly how the happy ending is going to play out and have even written most of it…Bad news is that school starts on Monday so updates will be farther apart from now on*sighs* oh well, let me know what you thought of this chapter and I will love you forever!
> 
> The song Cass sings Dean is obviously Hey Jude by the Beatles


	9. Third Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took so long, part of the reason was me going back to school, starting dance and going through a breakup, and the other part was me having brain blasts for later chapters and having to type them up first so that I didn't lose them lol. Anyways here it is and it goes out to Cat, Jessi, JiniZ , and Destielwolves17 leaving me comments, your reward: a longer chapter!

**Third Date**

They got dressed as quickly as they could, fed Rohan, and exited Castiel's bedroom hand-in-hand.

They had made it halfway down the hall when Gabriel popped out of the kitchen into their path, holding a mixing bowl and sponge. "Going somewhere?"

"Breakfast," Castiel spoke slowly.

"Oh, no you don't," Gabriel smirked, pushing his way between them and linking arms with each of them. "I have just made a breakfast fit for royalty; you are  _not_ eating out this morning!" And with that he pulled them into the kitchen and pushed them down into chairs. "So, Dean isn't it? Do you mind if I call you Deano?" He turned a smirk to Dean as he placed both the mixing bowl and the sponge in the sink.

"Um actually-"

"Great!" Gabriel exclaimed, moving plates of pancakes and waffles onto the table, "There you go."

"Damn, dude, you didn't have to do all this," Dean told him, thinking about actually warming up to Castiel's brother.

Castiel's eyes widened in amazement as he reached for a waffle, "Yes, you truly shouldn't have." He placed the waffle on his plate.

"Oh, but I did!" Gabriel grinned. "Yep, my very own recipe and everything."

Castiel instantly stopped his fork and inch from his mouth, "Come again?"

"All my own," Gabriel nodded, turning his smile to Dean who was still buttering his pancakes, "Yeppers, all 100% fat, gluten, sugar, wheat, carb, msg, and toxin free."

The moment the food touched Dean's tongue he gagged, "Oh my God."

"Something wrong with my cooking there Deano?" Gabriel asked with a furrowed brow.

Dean cleared his throat, "No um, I was just shocked at how um awesome they sounded….and uh taste too." He nodded and picked up another forkful, bracing himself this time as he put it in his mouth and chewed.

Castiel couldn't help the snort that escaped him. Despite the fact that Dean's expression amused him, he still sent Gabriel a glare as he took a bite of his own food.

Dean ate the three pancakes he had on his plate as quickly as possible and turned a forced smile to Gabriel who was eating a slice of chocolate cake nearly as big as he was, "That was um…good."

"Aww shucks Deano, if you liked it that much we can make this a weekly thing!"

"I don't know about going that far," Dean muttered.

Castiel snorted again and set down his own fork, "If you're finished torturing Dean, we'd like to get going to our second date."

"Second date?" Gabriel asked with a raised brow. "Already, Cassie? Damn, you're moving fast with this one."

Castiel blushed and pushed away from the table, pulling Dean with him, "Jesus Christ, Gabe," He muttered under his breath.

They were a few steps from the front door when Gabriel's voice reached him again, "Don't do anything I wouldn't- scratch that there's really nothing that I won't do! Well whatever you tow crazy kids do, juts remember to use protection!"

Castiel blushed again and couldn't help wondering why he kept doing that. Castiel wasn't usually the type to blush, so why was he doing it around Dean? It wasn't like Dean was any different from the others he had helped, right? Castiel shook his head and turned to Dean with an apologetic smile as they walked down the street with no real destination, "I apologize for Gabriel, he can be-"

"-A dick?" Dean offered good-naturedly.

"I was going to say a bit eccentric, but yes," Castiel smiled.

Dean smiled back, "So um does he cook stuff like that often?"

"Yes, he doesn't approve of my eating of anything he deems unhealthy," Castiel shrugged.

Dean glanced at Castiel curiously, "That's weird, I mean shouldn't he be worried about what  _he's_ eating?"

Castiel's eyes widened when he realized that he had said too much, "He should, but, um…" He trailed off, starting to close in on himself.

"No I get it," Dean interrupted, much to Castiel's relief. "It's an older brother thing, If Sammy didn't already eat like a friggin rabbit I'd be doing the same thing to him."

Castiel smiled and nodded, "Yes, a brother thing," He agreed.

They walked in a content silence for a while until they walked by a park and Castiel tugged at Dean's hand in the direction of the swings. "Really, Cass? The swings?" Dean asked jokingly.

"Yes," Castiel smiled sitting down in one and watching Dean to make sure he did the same.

"So…" Dean trailed off awkwardly.

"So what would you like to do?"

"What do you mean? When?" Dean asked, taken off-guard by Castiel's question.

"I mean what would you like to do for the rest of our year together? For example what are your plans for next week?"

Dean remained silent in thought for a minute before answering, "Well I was planning on going into work and trying to convince my boss to let me off of vacation early…"

Castiel rolled his eyes, "I meant for fun, Dean."

"Oh…well I was planning on ordering a new muffler for my car and-"

" _Fun, Dean,_ " Castiel emphasized.

"If you don't consider that fun then…nothing," Dean stated truthfully.

Castiel furrowed his brow," That's quite sad actually…Perhaps we could go to the zoo in Topeka?"

Dean glanced at Castiel in disbelief, "First the swings and then a zoo? What am I Cass, five?"

Castiel turned away, biting his lower lip, "My apologies, it was only a suggestion. And if sitting on the swings is displeasing to you we-"

"No, no, no," Dean interrupted. "I…I've actually never been to a zoo before so…yeah, a zoo."

Castiel turned back to Dean, beaming, "Really?"

"Yes really," Dean nodded.

Castiel was beside himself with happiness no one since Samandriel had agreed to go to the zoo with him. He blinked and quickly pushed all thoughts of Samandriel out of his head because seriously how could he be comparing Dean to Samandriel?  _Because your feelings for Dean remind you of your feelings for him,_ a small voice that sounded suspiciously like Gabriel's whispered in his head. Castiel shook his head, no, if that were true then that would mean that he was-

"Hey, you alright, Cass?"

Castiel blinked his eyes and smiled at Dean thankful for the interruption in his thought pattern, "Fine, shall we return to my house?"

Dean looked at Castiel skeptically, not fully believing that he was truly fine. After a moment he nodded, "Yeah, that sounds good." Dean stood and offered his hand to Castiel who happily took it in his.

~o0o0o0o~

Castiel sat on the edge of his bed watching Dean as he looked through the former's book collection, " _'The German Dictionary_ ', Cass?" Dean read off, "You speak German?"

"Yes," Castiel smiled, "As well as Russian and Spanish."

Dean made a small "huh" sound as he came and sat down next to Castiel, "That works actually," He said after a moment of thought.

Castiel turned to Dean confused, "For what exactly?"

"Well…" Dean trailed off and blushed despite himself, "It's just…I came up with a nickname for you so I think it would be kinda cool if you had one for me, and when nicknames are in a different language…I don't know I think it just makes it cooler."

"Very well then," Castiel replied, still not fully understanding his reasoning. Castiel remained silent for a moment running the languages he knew through his head briefly before blurting out the first German word that came to mind, "Spülbecken."

Dean looked at Castiel skeptically, "Spül-what-now?"

Castiel shook his head and cursed the blush that was making its way across his face, "Nothing, it was just a suggestion."

Dean took in the sight of Castiel blushing next to him and decided that a blushing Castiel was the most Goddamn adorable thing in the world, "I actually like it," He admitted truthfully.

Castiel looked at Dean in disbelief, "Really?"

"Really," Dean agreed, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Castiel's lips. "What's it mean anyway?"

Castiel blushed, "In all honesty I believe that the words meaning would diminish its appeal to you."

"Please?" Dean asked, doing his best imitation of his brother's puppy eyes.

"Maybe someday," Castiel smiled, pulling Dean into another kiss.

Dean smiled into the kiss, deciding that he was perfectly fine with not knowing what the word meant as long as it meant that Castiel's lips never had to leave his.

~o0o0o0o~

"Leaving again so soon?" Gabriel asked, coming out of his room to stand in Dean and Castiel's path.

"Yes, Gabriel, seeing as you interrupted our date this morning, we're being forced to make a second attempt," Castiel explained, becoming irritated, because Jesus Christ his brother was a cockblock!

"And where exactly do you plan on taking my baby brother to court him?" Gabriel asked turning his gaze to Dean.

"Dinner?" Dean offered uncertainly.

Gabriel rolled his eyes,  _Idiot._ "No shit Sherlock, I meant  _where_?"

"Oh," Dean breathed, "Umm…"

Castiel had to hold back a smile at the look of deep concentration on Dean's face as he floundered under Gabriel's gaze, because seriously how could someone look so freaking cute while they're confused? "He offered to let me pick," Castiel supplied.

Dean sighed in relief, sending Castiel a thankful smile, "Yeah."

Gabriel nodded, "Alright have fun then," He told his brother before turning to Dean again, "And  _you_ …just remember what I said about protection; I wouldn't want my baby bro coming back pregnant or something."

Castiel blushed and practically dragged Dean through the house and to Dean's car. "Sorry," He mumbled, wondering if Gabriel could possibly be more embar- He stopped his train of thought right there, because he already knew the answer: yes Gabriel could be much more embarrassing.

"Don't sweat it dude," Dean laughed, "Not to be a chick or anything, but you look pretty friggin adorable when you blush."

Castiel cleared his throat, not used to receiving compliments- generally he was the one complementing others- as his blush deepened, "Shall we go?"

"Yeah," Dean agreed, pulling his eyes away from Castiel's face, "Where to?"

"Surprise me," Castiel decided, slipping into the passenger seat of the Impala.

~o0o0o0o~

They ended up at small local Mexican restaurant that Dean had been to a few times and Castiel hadn't even known was there. "You do like Mexican food, right?" Dean asked suddenly worried.

"Oh course," Castiel smiled, "Gabriel simply doesn't-" Castiel stopped himself realizing that he was about to say too much again, "We simply don't have occasion to eat out a lot."

Dean nodded, apparently missing Castiel's slip up, much to the blue-eyes man's relief.

They exited the car and entered the restaurant to be greeted by a smiling employee, "Table for two?" She asked with a smile.

"Please," Dean nodded, "Somewhere quiet if you have it."

She smiled again and led them to an area with five small tables where two other couples were already eating. "What can I get you to drink?" She asked, handing each of them a menu.

"I'll have a Coke," Dean said with his best charming smile, "Cass?"

"I'd like the same," Castiel nodded.

"Great!" She beamed. "José will be over to take you're order in a minute."

"So what's good here?" Castiel asked after a moment of looking through the menu.

Dean bit his lip, "Alright, I'll tell you what I like, but only if you swear to never tell my brother."

Castiel gave Dean an amused smile, "I swear," He nodded, setting his menu down.

"The taco salad with grilled chicken is friggin amazing," Dean smiled.

"Sounds good," Castiel smiled.

A few minutes later José came with their drinks and took their order. Fifteen minutes after that he came with their food. They thanked him and dug in.

"When are you scheduled to go back to work?" Castiel asked, taking a bite.

"In about two weeks," Dean nodded. "Not to be nosy or anything, but do you work?"

Castiel shook his head, "No, Gabriel and I are living off our inheritance so…" Castiel shook his head, because that statement made them sound like a couple of rich brats. "Gabriel has opted to spend his time attending every culinary school possible and I spend my time volunteering at various places for various causes."

"Is that where you were Tuesday?"

Castiel's eyes widened in panic, "What?"

"You left early Tuesday because of a 'prior engagement,' I was just wondering if it was a charity or-" Dean's sentence was cut off by the waiter returning to ask if they need anything. They replied that they didn't and when he left they fell into a comfortable silence for the rest of their meal, their previous conversation all but forgotten.

"So…" Dean started once they were driving.

"So?" Castiel asked curiously.

"So, my house or yours?"

"That depends," Castiel replied as evenly as he could manage.

"On?" Dean asked curiously.

Castiel bit his lip and willed himself to speak without sounding biased towards one or the other, "On whether you considered that out second or third date."

Dean nearly choked on his own saliva, but quickly regained his composure, "Umm…well, seeing as we  _did_ go out to the park this morning, I'd say that this counts as our third date- technically speaking of course."

Castiel willed his heart to not pound out of his chest because seriously, why was he so excited and eager over this? It's not like he was a virgin or something- if he was being completely honest with himself the only way he could possibly be farther from a virgin was if he were to become a prostitute. He shook his head passing off what he was feeling as not having sex for too long. "My place then," He answered

Dean nodded and drove them to Castiel's house as quickly as the speed limits would allow. Once they got to Castiel's house Dean managed to keep his cool, slowly exiting the car and even coming around to open Castiel's car.

Castiel however lost his cool the moment he was out of the car, quickly whirling them around and pressing Dean back against the car. He linked his arms around Dean's neck and paused, his lips an inch from Dean's. "This is what you want correct?"

Dean nodded and Castiel slotted their hips together. Dean wasn't sure what exactly he was expecting, but the slow, soft press of Castiel's lips against his jaw hadn't been it. Dean hummed in happiness nonetheless as Castiel's lips moved along his jaw until they met his lips in a gentle yet passionate kiss.

Castiel experimentally ground his hips forwards into Dean's, but made sure to keep his kisses slow and soft, even as he licked into Dean's mouth with his tongue. A moment later he felt Dean's hands move down from his waist to cup his ass, pulling him impossibly close. "House," Castiel spoke into Dean's mouth.

Dean nodded, flipping them so that it was Castiel's back pressed against the Impala. Castiel pulled back to give him a puzzled look. Dean rolled his eyes and moved one of his hands down to grip Castiel's thigh and hitch it up to rest on his hip.

Despite the admittedly distracting press of Dean's cock against his, Castiel understood what Dean was doing and lifted his other leg so that both were wrapped firmly around Dean's waist.

Dean smiled and brought their lips back together, licking into Castiel's mouth, as he gripped his ass and turned to carry him to the house.

Castiel made a small noise of displeasure when he felt the door against his back and realized that he was going to have to let go of Dean to unlock it. Again he chastised himself for his behavior, and slid out of Dean's arms. He turned and unlocked the door, pushing it open and turning back to Dean who gave him an expectant look. Castiel said a mental 'fuck it' and jumped back into Dean's arms. He pressed his lips back to Dean's instantly, tracing his tongue along the seam of Dean's lips.

Dean happily opened his mouth, sucking at Castiel's tongue as he walked them through the door. He hummed at the taste of Castiel's mouth, loving the fact that it tasted like a cross between the taste of their desert from the restaurant and something else that he could only describe as  _Cass_. "You taste like cinnamon," He whispered, kicking the door shut and starting down the hallway.

"Mmm, so do you," Castiel husked back, his voice coming out even rougher than usual as he clung onto Dean. Castiel let out another sound of annoyance when he felt his bedroom door against his back, but before he could get off of Dean, he felt Dean shift so that his left hand was on the small of Castiel's back and used the other to open the door.

Dean put both hands back on Castiel and used the smaller man's body to push open the door, being sure that his lips never left Castiel's for a second.

"Bed," Castiel panted into Dean's mouth, unwilling to detach his mouth from the other's. He mentally slapped himself again for becoming so addicted to Dean's touch already, because he wasn't supposed to get addicted to anyone's anything,  _ever._  Castiel found himself wondering again what was so special about Dean, but before he could think too much, he was lying on the bed with Dean above him, ravaging his mouth. Castiel moaned, pulling at Dean's clothing.

Dean moaned quietly, sitting up to strip his shirt off, hating the distance it put between himself and Castiel, but deciding that it would be worth it in the long run.

Castiel did the same, quickly peeling his shirt off and undoing his pants.

"Here," Dean husked helping Castiel out of his pants and boxers, before moving onto his own. Once they were both fully naked Dean looked back down at Castiel and moaned. "Cass…" He trailed off, unable to come up with words to describe how beautiful Castiel was, fully naked and spread out beneath him with flushed cheeks. Instead he settled back over the top of them and brought their lips together in a rough kiss. As he kissed Castiel he lost track of time and even who he was with, simply focusing on the grind of his body against the body beneath him.

Castiel eagerly kissed him back, hungrily running his hands over Dean's body and rocking his hips up into Dean's. It wasn't until he felt Dean's nails on his shoulders that he realized how rough they were getting and through extension the fact that it wasn't supposed to be like this. Dean needed to be showed that sex wasn't just a rough mindless mission for pleasure. Castiel reluctantly parted their lips, finally regaining some self-control because although  _he_ was all for this, this was for  _Dean_. "Dean?" He spoke softly. Dean continued to grind his hips down roughly and nip at his neck, seemingly oblivious to the fact that someone was speaking to him. "Dean? Dean, stop!"

Dean blinked a few times, "What? What's wrong?" He blinked a few more times, coming back to his senses. He instantly felt guilty for losing his senses in the first place and even somewhat losing the fact that he was with Castiel and not just some one-night-stand floozy like he'd been hooking up with since his last bad break up. The floozies whose faces and names he had blocked out during and after the sex he had with them. The floozies he had fucked- had  _used_  -just for the carnal pleasure of it. "Shit," He mumbled, rolling off of Castiel to sit on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry…I…lost myself there for a minute."

"I figured as much," Castiel nodded, sitting up next to Dean. "I…do you want to talk about it?"

"The fact that I've slept with so many people that I can't even remember their faces let alone their names?" Dean asked, somewhat brokenly.

Castiel's head tilted in confusion, "You didn't-"

"Mention that before…yeah I know. Shit Sammy doesn't even know. I just…used the sex to block out my problems with the whole romance thing I guess…and I've gotten so used to doing it that I just kind of…zone out. To be honest I'm shocked that it didn't happen the first couple times we did…things."

Castiel's heart ached at Dean's words; he had had a feeling that Dean hadn't been telling him all of his romantic history, but…this…He scooted closer to Dean and wrapped an arm around Dean's shoulders. "It's okay, Dean," Castiel soothed. "I know your mind and body want rough and fast, but I think it'll be better for you…healthier for you…for now…to keep things soft and slow."

Dean swallowed, trying to clear the lump from his throat, "I've never really had the whole 'soft and slow' thing, not even when I was dating people."

Castiel nodded, he had figured as much. "Rough and fast can be fun, but soft and slow can be…so much more," He explained.

Dean nodded rapidly, "I'm sorry, Cass, yeah I want it to be more. Like I said, before it's just been fucking, but with you I want it to be more, I want it to be…"

"…Making love," Castiel finished, blushing at his own word choice, because dammit these feelings he was having towards Dean were  _not_ love. "Minus the actual love of both parties of course," He added quickly.

Dean bit his lip, "Yeah…I mean as much of a chick as that makes me, yes." He turned to Castiel with a small vulnerable smile.

"Alright, Dean. As long as we never refer to is as such; I do not wish for you to become confused about my feelings for you."

"Yeah totally," Dean nodded, eager to finally feel what it was like to actually make love to someone because yes, although he had only know Castiel a short time he was pretty sure what he was feeling for the other man was in fact love. "We could call it-"

"Dean, stop overthinking what we're going to refer to it as and kiss me."

Dean smiled, cupping Castiel's cheek and bringing their mouths together in a slow caress of lips.

Castiel moved them on the bed so that Dean was lying beneath him and sat up to take in the sight of Dean's fully naked and toned body. He ran his fingers lightly down Dean's sides and noticed that the other man was trembling. Castiel look back up and locked his eyes with Dean's, "You're beautiful," Castile spoke truthfully, his voice only cracking slightly.

Dean closed his eyes wiling himself not to cry, because Dean Winchester does not cry during sex dammit- no matter how emotional things get -! He took a calming breath and willed himself to stop shaking, "So are you," He whispered back, opening his eyes to lock them onto Castiel's.

Castiel let out a small breathless gasp at Dean's words, realizing that no one he had sex with had called him beautiful so sincerely since Samandriel. That thought hurt, because he knew that no matter what he was feeling for Dean, after their year was up he would have to leave. It was now Castiel's turn to will himself not to cry. He swallowed thickly and leaned down, pressing his hands against Dean's chest hard enough to feel the other's heartbeat as he locked their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And…that's a chapter! Okay so that turned out so much different than I had planned! Things were not originally meant to get that emotional (I hadn't even planned to add more crap to poor Dean's romantic history) but seeing as I'm writing this as I go, things like this just sorta happen. I hope you like and please let me know what you think! P.S. The next chapter is already written a bit so all I need is a little bit of encouragement and you shall receive the chapter with the smut I had planned for this chapter!
> 
> P.S.S. Anyone wanna guess what spülbecken means?


	10. And Kiss You Every Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um…There are no words to describe how sorry I am for taking this long and my only excuse is life… SO thanks go out to Whatrhymeswithdestiel, Dragonfli, Destielwolves17, JiniZ, Jewel, and Jessi for leaving me love you wow guys are freaking awesome and thank you for being so patient with me!
> 
> P.S. I'm glad you all got a kick out of the Spülbecken thing XD…I now have a friend at school I call Spülbecken and since I decided to give all my junior friends in Spanish 1 German nicknames I also call one of them Apotheke and then of course there's annnicolebunbun over on fanfic . net who I call Brücke…Yes I know…we're weird… :D

**And Kiss You Every Night**

Castiel moved his lips slowly from Dean's down to Dean's twitching member, slowly kissing every inch of skin between until Dean was a whimpering mess panting Castiel's name. Castiel kissed down Dean's cock to his balls and spread the others legs wider. Castiel didn't know what overcame him, but the next thing he knew he was kissing down further.

Dean's eyes widened in shock and pleasure as he felt Castiel's lips and seconds later tongue on his entrance. He was quickly becoming overwhelmed with pleasure. Dean was nearly positive that no one in the past had ever given his body this much time and attention, and definitely no one had ever done  _this._ He gasped Castiel's name as the Castiel's tongue began to probe at his entrance. "Jesus, Cass," He moaned.

Castiel smiled, pleased that he was doing a satisfactory job and continued to lick Dean open. In all honesty he was shocked by how much Dean seemed to be enjoying himself, Castiel had only done this once before and that had been with Samandriel. And there he went again; comparing Dean to Samandriel! Castiel clears his head and forces himself to focus solely on the task at hand. He slowly kisses his way back up Dean's body to nip at his neck as he reached under his pillow for a bottle of lube.

"Really, Cass, under the pillow?" Dean joked, looking up at Castiel with lust-blown eyes.

"Easy access," Castiel explained with a blush, coating his fingers in the lube and reaching down to press one to Dean's entrance. Castiel smiled and pressed his lips to Dean's as he slid a single digit into the other man's entrance.

Dean groaned into Castiel's mouth, gently rocking his hips down onto Castiel's finger.

Castiel smiled against Dean's lips and continued to work Dean open at a painfully slow pace, his lips never leaving Dean's for more than a split second.

By the time Castiel had three fingers within Dean, the doctor was feeling dizzy and light head and although it could have been from the lack of oxygen due to their kissing, he was pretty sure that it was just Castiel. "I'm ready," He whispered, his voice trembling slightly against his will.

Castiel removed his finger and reached under his pillow for a condom. Once he got one he sat up and opened it with shaking hands, hoping that Dean wouldn't notice. Naturally he had no such luck.

"Cass, baby, are you okay? You're shaking."

Castiel met Dean's eyes and nodded, "Fine, just…it's been a while since I've-"  _done this with someone I love,_ that voice that sounded like Gabriel spoke in his head as he told Dean, "-had intercourse of any kind."

Dean lifted his hand to cup Castiel's cheek, and Castiel noticed that Dean was shaking too. "We'll go slow," Dean smiled gently, taking the condom from Castiel's hands and rolling it onto the blue-eyed man's cock for him. He gave Castiel's cock a few strokes before placing his hand back on the bed.

Castiel gave Dean a grateful smile as he lined himself up with Dean's entrance. He pushed forward slowly, gasping at Dean's tightness.

"Fuck, Cass," Dean gasped, causing Castiel to pause and give him a worried, borderline apologetic look. "Keep going," He told Castiel with a nod, moving his hands up to hold onto Castiel.

Castiel complied, bracing his hands on the bed next to Dean's shoulders as he slowly moved farther into Dean. By the time he was fully inside of Dean his head was bowed and sweat was already forming all across his body. "Dean," He breathed.

Dean opened his eyes, not having been aware of closing them and met Castiel's eyes. He moaned at the shear lust he seen in them and surged up to claim Castiel's lips in a slow passionate kiss. "Move," He whispered, breaking the kiss and moving one of his legs up to wrap around Castiel's waist in encouragement.

Castiel complied, gently rocking himself in and out of Dean in gentle thrusts. His arms shook as he held himself up, unable to contain the pleasure he was feeling, "Dean," He breathed again.

Dean replied with a small moan, his level of pleasure becoming just as overwhelming as Castiel's, and he knew that despite their slow pace it was only a matter of minutes before he would be spilling his release between their bodies. "Cass," He moaned, pulling Castiel down for another searing kiss.

Castiel kissed Dean back hungrily and his body tensed as he hovered on the edge of his release. "I'm sorry, Dean," He panted in slight embarrassment, "I'm just so close…"

"It's okay…me too," Dean gasped into the other man's mouth, tightening his limbs around him. "Just let it happen, baby."

"Dean!" Castiel gasped one last time and then he was falling over the edge into pure bliss. Castiel's eyes slid closed and as he released inside of Dean, his only thought was how amazing it all felt. In all of his relationships since Samandriel he had never felt this way…this feeling it was just so…it felt like… Then Castiel's mind blurred completely at the feeling of Dean's body tightening around his still-pulsing member and he opened his eyes to see Dean's mouth open in a gasp and his pupils dilate fully, swallowing the beautiful green of Dean's eyes whole…

Dean gasped at the feeling of warms that spread through his insides with Castiel's release and within seconds he was coming too, covering both of their torsos in his release, his eyes never leaving the cerulean pools that were Castiel's as he clung to the other man, panting his name the entire time.

Castiel continued to slowly rock his body against and inside Dean's until both of them had fully ridden out their orgasms and his trembling arms finally gave out. He laid on top of Dean for a minute before he slowly rolled over and moved to get out of bed to get something to clean them up with. He had only moved an inch when Dean's arms tightened around him, pulling him back into his side. "Dean?" He asked softly, looking up to meet Dean's eyes, which seemed to be glowing in the dim light of the room.

"Just stay," Dean whispered, tightening his arms further. "I could care less about the mess right now," He told Castiel honestly.

Castiel nodded and rearranged himself so that his head was under Dean's chin and his arms were wound just as tightly around Dean's as the green-eyed man's were around him. He exhaled slowly before inhaling the smell of sweat, sex, and something that could only be described as  _Dean_  around him.

"Thank you," Dean whispered, burying his nose in the softness of Castiel's hair.

"For what?" Castiel asked, tilting his head up to meet Dean's eyes again.

"For um… you know…" Dean cleared his throat, unsure of how to thank Castiel for making love to him without actually saying the "L" word.

Thankfully Castiel understood almost instantly and had to bite his tongue from saying,  _"No, Dean, thank you."_ Instead he moved up an inch and brought his mouth to Deans in a soft, slow caress of lips and tongue.

Dean hummed into Castiel's mouth and decided that he could get very used to Castiel singing to him each morning and kissing him just like this every night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not my longest chapter, but I promised Brücke to have this up this weekend so I just wrote the promised smut and postponed the plot until the next chapter (I didn't think any of you would mind too much) Let me know what you thought and I um…I'll try to have the next chapter up as soon as I can!


	11. Zoo Pals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what did I tell you? Your feedback payed off didn't it? Thanks go out to JiniZ, Destielwolves17, Jewel, Whatrhymeswithdestiel, and Dragonfliwho left me comments, you guys are honestly what is keeping me writing on this story and I legitmately love you all! 
> 
> Well not much happens in this chapter plot wise(I know shocker, but I promise it is moving, no matter how slow), basically just more fluff and more of the boys realizing how utterly screwed they are XD Anyways enjoy!

**Zoo Pals**

After their heartbeats had slowed down somewhat, Castiel finally convinced Dean to release him long enough to throw their condom away and turn the light off, before Dean was pulling him back into bed.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head and sighed in contentment, "So what are we doing tomorrow?"

Castiel chuckled lightly, snuggling further into the warmth of Dean's body, "It's Thursday…" Castiel spoke slowly more to himself than to Dean, "I have no prior engagements so, whatever you want to do."

Dean smiled, "Sleep in," Dean suggested.

"And after?" Castiel smiled back.

"I compensate you for your services tonight," Dean half-stated, half-yawned.

Castiel bit his lip at Dean's words, "I do not wish for you to feel obligated to-"

"I  _want_ to, Cass," Dean assured him quickly. "And you said  _whatever_  I wanted," Dean reminded half-jokingly.

"As you wish, Dean," Castiel exhaled, barely containing himself from spontaneously combusting with happiness.

Dean yawned again and tightened his arms around Castiel. "Sleep?"

"Sleep," Castiel agreed, nuzzling his face into the crook of Dean's neck and placing a soft kiss there, "Good night, Spülbecken."

"Good night, Cass."

~o0o0o0o~

The next morning Dean woke up to the same gravely, yet somehow smooth voice singing to him.

" _I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise, we climbed aboard their starship, we headed for the skies. Singing come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads. Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me. Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me. Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me..."_

"Morning," Dean mumbled sleepily after he was sure Castiel had finished singing.

Castiel lifted his eyes from where they had been slowly raking over every inch of Dean's naked torso, "Good morning, Dean," Castiel smiled into the brilliant hazel-green eyes he was met with.

"Good song," Dean complimented, allowing himself to get lost in the gorgeous blue of Castiel's eyes.

Castiel had to think for a moment to recall what he just sang Dean. "Oh, yes…I forgot to ask, what types of songs do you like? I know I've been singing quite a bit of classic rock and you never complained so…"

"They're fine, Cass. I live for classic rock," Dean assured. "Sing as many as you want."

Castiel had to bite his tongue from asking Dean whether or not he could be any more perfect. Instead he mentally slapped himself for thinking of Dean as perfect and simply nodded, "As you wish, Dean."

Dean smiled and leaned in to capture Castiel's lips. Their mouths had barely met when there was a knock on the door. Dean groaned against Castiel's lips in frustration, but allowed the smaller man to pull back.

"Yes?" Castiel asked feeling just as frustrated as Dean was.

"Breakfast, Cassie!" Called Gabriel's overly-cheery voice.

Castiel groaned, and before he could regain control of himself, he was turning to Dean and attacking his mouth in a needy kiss.

"Calm down, Cass," Dean whispered with a chuckle.

"No," Castiel whispered fiercely against Dean's lips, and despite his better judgment spoke the next sentence on the tip of his tongue, "You promised morning sex and I will  _not_ be cock-blocked by my brother's so-called 'breakfast'."

"I didn't say when I'd be repaying you," Dean whispered into Castiel's mouth. "So let's go see what Gabriel made for breakfast and continue this later."

Castiel came back to himself then and got his emotions and hormones under control enough to break the kiss. "As you wish, Dean."

Dean smiled, rolling out of bed and looking for his clothes.

Castiel momentarily lost control again and groaned at the sight of a very naked and toned Dean bent over picking up his shirt from the previous day.

"I know, Cass," Dean sighed turning around to take in Castiel's nude form, still stretched out on the bed. "But I promise I'll make it up to you tonight," Dean assured.

And he did.

~o0o0o0o~

_**Wednesday** _

" _Did it mean nothing? Was it all in vain? Was I just your fool? Or was the pleasure pain? Have you set me free? Or will I wake up in the morning and find out it's been a bad dream? Come on, I beg you, I want to be your main man…_

Dean yawned and burrowed further into the cocoon of naked warmth surrounding him and allowed himself to get lost in the feelings and sounds of Castiel around him, from the his gravely singing voice filling the room around him to the steady thrum of his heartbeat against his left ear, from his warm smooth chest against the side of his face to his strong, toned arms, wrapped around his body. And in that moment Dean realized that he had never been happier. Not even two weeks with Castiel and he was already happier with the blue-eyed man than he had ever been with anyone else. And all because Castiel wasn't just a quick spectacular fuck. Sure the sex was friggin amazing, but it would mean nothing if it wasn't paired with the amazing personality and endearing disposition.

" _I can almost hear you sigh. Almost hear you cry. When you make sweet love to me. Almost see your smile. It stretched half a mile. You had a stone cold look in your eyes."_

Dean swallowed thickly as Castiel sang the words  _making love._  "You reminiscing about me fucking you into the mattress last night?" Dean asked cockily, jumping to a joke to keep his emotions at bay.

Castiel jumped slightly, unaware of the fact that Dean had been awake during his singing. "How could I not?" He replied just as cockily to cover up his own feelings. "Although the saying 'fucking into the mattress' is a bit graphic for my taste…"

Dean chuckled, moving up Castiel's body enough to kiss along his jaw, "So what's on the agenda for today?"

Castiel thought a moment…and then had to think another due to the distraction of Dean nibbling his earlobe. "I believe there was mention of visiting a zoo this week…"

"You realize that that's going to involve leaving both of our beds for an extended period of time, right?"

"I'm aware," Castiel nodded.

"And you still want to go?" Dean asked in mock-disbelief.

"Yes," Castiel grinned.

"Okay." Dean smiled, moving off of Castiel enough to sit up.

Castiel smiled back and within twenty minutes they'd gotten dressed, fed Rohan and were on the road to the Topeka Zoo.

Thirty minutes later they were walking into the Zoo, hand-in-hand, smiling like a couple of five-year-olds. "Where do you wanna go first?" Dean asked, looking down at the map of the Zoo in his hand.

Castiel glanced down at the map, reading all the exhibits off mentally before replying, "The Jungle Cats."

Dean nodded, and folded the map up to put in his pocket, "Jungle Cats it is."

~o0o0o0o~

"Have you ever seen a tiger look that friggin adorable?" Dean asked as he watched one of the small tigers swimming around their pool of water with her cub.

Castiel shook his head still mesmerized by the baby tiger swimming with its mother, "The plaque says that they're the world's smallest breed of tiger," He spoke offhandedly his eyes never leaving said tigers.

Dean pulled out his phone and snapped a picture.

The flash brought Castiel out of his daze and he looked up at Dean, "Would you like to choose what we see next?"

"Disappearing Apes," Dean smiled, tightening his hand on Castiel's as he led them to the next exhibit, marveling at how happy he was.

~o0o0o0o~

After seeing the Tropical Rainforest and the Lion's pride they went to the gift shop.

They wandered for a while before Castiel found a grey sock monkey hat that Dean decided looked way to cute on him for them not to get.

Once Dean convinced Castiel to let him buy the hat for him they headed to The Grazer's Café for lunch. They ordered burgers and fries to go and settled at a picnic table to eat their lunch.

They were halfway through lunch when Castiel looked up from his plate to Dean somewhat nervously and smiled, "Dean?"

Dean set his burger down and met Castiel's eyes across their table, "Yeah, babe?"

"I…I just wanted to say thank you…for today."

Dean looked at Castiel curiously, "You're welcome and all, but…why are you thanking me for taking you to a place you wanted to go?"

Castiel pulled at the tassels of his hat and forced himself to keep eye contact, "Because, Dean, this- this year I mean, isn't supposed to be about me…It's supposed to be about you and what makes  _you_ happy. Not me and what makes me happy…" He sighed and finished in a whisper, "It's against the rules."

Dean's heart ached for Castiel as he reached over and took his hand, "What if I told you that making you happy makes me happy? Would we still be breaking the rules?"

Castiel thought over the question carefully before answering critically, "Technically speaking yes, just to a lesser degree."

Dean chuckled, squeezing Castiel's hand before turning serious and leaning closer to Castiel, "Then I say fuck the rules."

Castiel's heart did a double-beat at that and he had to restrain himself from losing control of himself yet again. He sighed and nodded, agreeing with Dean for the time being and resumed eating his lunch.

They didn't speak again until after they were finished eating and Dean got a better look at their plates, he chuckled lightly and held his plate up for Castiel to see, "I got a panda," He grinned, moving the Zoo Pals plate so that it was in front of his face for a second before placing it back on the table.

Again Castiel did something before his brain could fully approve it, he picked up his plate and started singing, "Oink! Oink, Zoo Pals! Buzz! Buzz, Zoo Pals! Quack! Quack, Zoo Pals! Zoo Pals make eating fun! When you clean your plate –da-da-da-da-da- then you see their face- da-da-da-da-da-da-Hoot! Hoot, Zoo Pals! Ribbet! Ribbet, Zoo Pals! Woof! Woof, Zoo Pals! Zoo Pals make eating fun!" After he had finished singing Castiel's eyes widened slightly and he set his plate back on the table.

Dean chuckled lightly and grinned at Castiel, because fuck if that wasn't one of the most adorable thing she had ever seen.

Castiel blushed, "I apologize…I- I don't know what came over me…" He shook his head, refusing to meet Dean's eyes, because he honestly didn't know what had just come over him. He had just…let go with Dean…again. Letting out parts of himself that he hadn't let out since Samandriel. Castiel shook his head and paused his train of thought to mentally kick himself for comparing his feelings for Samandriel to his non-feelings for Dean.

Dean stood and walked around the table to sit next to Castiel. He cupped his cheek, forcing Castiel to meet his eyes, "You're fucking adorable, and I don't know where I would be without you right now." Dean held his tongue, fighting against the urge to proclaim his love for Castiel then and there despite their unspoken rule of never mentioning it.  _Yep,_  Dean decided,  _I truly am fucked beyond the point of no return._

Castiel's eyes locked with the bright hazel-green of Dean's and he saw in them all of the raw gratitude and lo- Castiel swallowed hard choosing to ignore the second thing he saw in Dean's eyes. He moved a hand up to twist in the hairs at the base of Dean's neck and pulled him in for a kiss that was in all honestly to explicit for a public place. He almost broke the kiss because of that fact before realizing that he honestly didn't give a fuck and through extension, the fact that he was ten times more screwed than he thought he was less than a week earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you go! I hope you enjoyed and please let me know what you think! And in case you were wondering the songs Castiel sings are "Come Sail Away" by Styx, and the "Zoo Pals Jingles" XD.
> 
> P.S. I probably won't get this (or anything else for that matter) updated again for a couple weeks because I'm spending nearly the entire week break from school with my grandparents so I won't have time to write, but please leave me feedback to help fuel my muse anyway! Happy Thanksgiving guys!


	12. Darling Don't Cling To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright little bit of time skipping ahead for plot progression. Thank yous go out to Destielwolves17, ImnotaSatanistIjustloveLucifer, JiniZ, and Jewel for being super awesome amazing people and leaving me reviews! Also I apologies for taking so long…life has decided to be Hell again and the only reason this is getting posted is because it was mostly written ahead of time and I just had to add a few details and fluff… Hope you guys enjoy, let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions for what Dean and Cass should do in their time together feel free to suggest away! And I promise there will be more smut definitely maybe in the next chapter :D

**Darling Don't Cling To Me**

That night while lying in Dean's bed with Rohan snuggled against their legs Dean finally got the courage to bring up his feelings, "So…You said that I could love you right?"

Castiel tensed in his arms and pulled away slightly, "Yes…I believe I said that I would not try to stop that from happening, though I would highly advise you against it."

"Why?" Dean asked curiously.

"Simply because of the fact that it would be unrequited, and don't want to see you hurt in the long run," Castiel sighed and met Dean's sad and still questioning eyes, "As I have said before: the cost of love is too dear. Therefore I will never love you, so please Darling, don't cling to me, because soon I'll be out of sight."

"And you'd never consider staying with anyone?" Dean spoke as evenly as he could, holding back a torrent of emotions that had been threatening to spill out all day. "No matter what?"

"No," Castiel spoke softly, settling back down against Dean. "That's not an option at this juncture in my life. Perhaps one day…" Castiel trailed off as a pain overtook his chest. "No."

Dean was preparing to tell Castiel that he would wait for that one day, but then the tone his lover had used sank in. His tone had sounded as if he didn't have the time to have a one day. Dean was opening his mouth to question Castiel on the subject when he heard a soft snore form against his chest. He smiled down at the mop of messy dark hair, "Good night Castiel."

~o0o0o0o~

Two weeks into their first month together Dean went back to work and he quickly fell into the pattern of waking up each morning next to Castiel, going to work, coming home to Castiel - whether it was at his house or Castiel's – and falling into bed for the some of the most amazing sex imaginable, followed by falling asleep snuggled up with Castiel. On weekends they would either stay in bed all day or go out and do something childish and somewhat silly like window shopping in the next town over or going to one of the local pet shops to look at all the small animals and buy treats and toys for Rohan. Every Tuesday Castiel would leave before him and be gone until 2 in the morning. Despite his curiosity Dean never asked, figuring it was a personal thing. But the one thing that remained the same every single day was Castiel singing to him each morning as he was waking up and kissing him each night before they fell asleep.

And neither of them could have been happier. Dean having decided that he might as well push the fact that in less than a year Castiel would be gone, aside and enjoy the time they had, while still forcing himself to remember the  _"don't cling to me"_  part of their agreement. And Castiel simply pushing all emotions having to do with long-term attachment to Dean, aside and enjoying the present, by still firmly holding onto the " _I will never love you"_ clause of their relationship.

_**Late September** _

Dean sighed as he clocked out of work, normally he would be ecstatic because it was Friday and tomorrow he planned on doing nothing more than worshipping every inch of Castiel's body, but today he was painfully aware of the fact that it was his and Castiel's one month anniversary and although he was all for celebrating it, he didn't want to seem weird and overbearing by making a big deal out of it, so he hadn't got Castiel anything and now he was freaking out. He sighed again, climbing into his car and driving to Castiel's house.

The moment Castiel seen Dean step out of his car, he ran out of his front door and into the other man's arm's eager - yet at the same time nervous - to bring up the fact that their first month together had come and gone.

"Hey lover," Dean greeted, happily wrapping his arms around Castiel

"Mmm, hello Dean," He moved his arms up from Dean's waist so that he could cup Dean's cheek and captured his lips in a hungry kiss. "I have something for you," He whispered against Dean's lips.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Castiel nodded, pulling Dean with him into his house. "If you recall I told you that you would receive a gift each month we're together so…Happy one month anniversary." He picked up a bag from the table and handed it to Dean with the nervous smile that he was unable to shake whenever Dean was involved.

Dean instantly regretted not having got Castiel a gift. "Cass man…" He trailed off reaching into the bag and pulling out a black T-shirt. He unfolded it and read the writing on the front out loud, "Keep calm and eat pie," he grinned at the words and the slice of pie above them. He looked down at the ground, "I feel bad for not getting you anything…"

Against his will, Castiel's heart gave a particularly hard throb at Dean's words, "Well…there's always…sexual favors."

Dean grinned and pulled Castiel into a firm kiss, "You realize that they're only favors if the receiver is the only one enjoying them right?"

"Why, Deano," Gabriel's voice cut into their conversation as he walked into the room, successfully blowing Dean and Castiel's moment to shit, "Are you implying that you enjoy sucking my baby brother's dick?"

Both Dean and Castiel's cheeks darkened in embarrassment and Castiel turned to glare at Gabriel, "What happened to staying in your room for the evening?"

Gabriel raised a brow, "Really, Cassie? You honestly expected me to stay in my room all weekend while you two go at it like rabbits? Please! What kind of older brother would that make me?"

Castiel rolled his eyes in irritation and began walking towards his room, "Come on, Dean."

"Not so fast," Gabriel interrupted, "Cassie, you go on to your room; I'm going to have a little talk with Deano."

"I'm sorry," Castiel told Dean honestly. He gave his lover one last sympathetic smile before going to his room.

"Please tell me you got him something in return?" Gabriel turned to Dean the moment Castiel's door was closed.

"What? No, I…thought about it, but I didn't want to be weird…" Dean trailed off feeling like Gabriel's eyes were a microscope and he was a slide of cuboidal cells being examined.

"I figured as much, that's why I got you these," He handed Dean an envelope.

Dean skeptically took the envelope and looked inside to see two tickets, "'My Fair Lady?' Wait a minute these are for tomorrow night and….Ashland Oregon!" Okay now Dean was starting to freak out.

"Yes, Dean, now keep it down!"

Dean contemplated strangling Gabriel, but instead motioned for him to explain.

"Cassie loves, musicals and he's always wanted to go to Ashland, but none of the dicks he's dated have ever wanted to go with him," Gabriel took a breath and rushed on, "So I took the liberty of organizing the whole thing for the two of you."

Dean looked at Gabriel skeptically, "Why are you doing all this?"

"To see my baby brother happy you moron," Gabriel stated. "And you make him very happy, so I figure this will give some major points."

"Points towards what exactly?" Dean asked in confusion.

Gabriel was opening his mouth to reply when Castiel's voice came from the other room, "Seriously, Gabriel! Are you planning on keeping him the whole night?!"

Gabriel rolled his eyes, handing Dean another envelope, "Your flight leaves at 9am."

"Wait a minute, flight?" Dean asked, his eyes widening as his throat closed.

Gabriel simply smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay pathetically short chapter, but hey it's better than nothing especially during finals week!


	13. Quite Enjoyable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to ImnotaSatanistIjustloveLucifer and JiniZ for leaving me comments! Love you guys!
> 
> Hmm…not exactly sure what this was…I didn't plan it and I'm still iffy on how it turned out, but it shows more of the boys kinda losing themselves with each other and hey smut so hope you enjoy ;)

**Quite Enjoyable**

"What did Gabriel want?" An already naked Castiel asked suspiciously as Dean stripped to his boxers.

"Called me an asshole for not getting you anything," Dean shrugged, unable to meet Castiel's eyes as he lied.

"You're not though," Castiel assured, coming up behind Dean and pressing his body against the other man's. "As I recall there was mention of sexual gratification for your lack of gift."

Dean moaned low in his throat at the feeling of Castiel burning hot body pressed against his, "And what did you have in mind exactly?"

Castiel paused a moment to marvel again at how different Dean was than the others. Never had they asked him what he wanted out of the sexual part of their relationships. "Surprise me," Castiel whispered, unwrapping his arms from Dean and laying down on the bed.

Dean turned and was on top of Castiel in seconds, devouring his mouth in a searing kiss, "Prepare to be surprised," Dean whispered, nipping his way down Castiel's body to his cock and swallowing it whole on the first go.

"Fuck!" Castiel cried out, looking down at Dean as the green-eyed man took his entire length into his mouth over and over again without so much as a flinch. "How-" Castiel's question was cut off by a moan of pleasure at the feeling of a slick finger tracing his entrance. He only had time to think,  _When in the fuck did he get out the lube?_  And then the finger was sliding in and he was bucking up even further into Dean's mouth.

Dean grinned internally at Castiel's reaction, quickly adding a second finger to scissor Castiel open.

"Dean," Castiel mewled, bucking his hips up and down between the two sources of stimulation. Finally one of Dean's fingers brushed his prostate and he couldn't take it anymore, "Dean," He warmed breathlessly, reaching down to card his fingers through the soft spikes of Dean's hair, "Dean I'm close."

Dean nodded, adding a third finger and crooking them to press firmly against Castiel's sweet spot as he swallowed.

Despite Castiel's wishes to keep watching Dean his eyes feel shut as his mouth fell open in a moan of warning.

Dean ignored the warning completely, continuing to deep-throating him while massaging his prostate.

"Dean if you don't slow down I'm going to-" And then Dean was humming the tune to Ramble On and the vibrations had Castiel coming instantly down Dean's throat. "Fuck," Castiel whispered brokenly as he ran his fingers through Dean's hair.

"Oh I intend to," Dean whispered with a smirk.

"Huh?" Castiel pried his eyes open and lifted it to see Dean spreading his legs as far as they would go and lining up his rock-hard cock. " _Dean_ ," Castiel groaned breathlessly as his own cock gave an almost painful twitch.

And then Dean was sliding in slowly, sinking forward to rest on his forearms above Castiel. "Is this okay?" Dean asked uncertainly.

Castiel chuckled breathlessly, cupping Dean's cheek, "Of course Dean, if this is what you need."

Dean flinched slightly at that, having momentarily forgotten their arrangement in the heat of the moment. "I…I want to make you feel good," He swallowed, struggling to hold still.

Castiel groaned breathlessly, God why did Dean have to say things like that? Not trusting his voice, Castiel trailed his hand down from Dean's cheek to squeeze his ass, pushing Dean's cock in further and causing them both to gasp.

Dean got the message and began slowly thrusting in and out of Castiel, peppering the blue-eyed man's face with kisses the entire time.

Castiel whined deep in his throat and wrapped one leg around Dean's waist, using it to encourage Dean to go faster.

"What happened to slow?" Dean asked curiously, still kissing Castiel's flushed skin.

"I know what I said, but I think you've came far enough to handle this, and either way you can't forget that going fast is also quite enjoyable," Castiel panted, smiling up at Dean.

Dean growled at Castiel's words and finally began picking up his pace, "Better?"

"Yes," Castiel groaned, his head rocking back to expose his neck. "So much better," He accentuated, rolling his hips up to meet Dean's thrusts. Castiel had nearly forgotten how good it felt to be the one being filled to perfectly by another and he knew in that moment that he wasn't going last nearly as long as he wanted to.

Dean wasted no time, instantly moving his kisses to Castiel's neck and throwing in the occasional soft nip. "Oh, Cass," He groaned, "You're so fucking tight." With that, Dean latched his lips onto Castiel's pulse point and proceeded to suck a mark onto it. "I'm not going to last," Dean realized as he released Castiel's neck, he blushed lightly, bowing his head in embarrassment.

Castiel opened his eyes to see Dean's head bowed and couldn't help smiling at how cute he looked. "Neither am I," Castiel assured him, tilting his lover's head up so that he could lock their lips together.

Dean sighed into Castiel's mouth, relieved that he wasn't the only one thrown off by the switch of positions.

"Faster," Castiel encouraged, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck.

"Cass I…" Dean trailed off, not wanting to lose himself as he had started to their first time.

Castiel instantly knew what Dean was thinking and tightened his grip on him, "Look at me," He commanded.

Dean stilled in his movements and met Castiel's deep, lust blown eyes and shivered.

Castiel bit his lip, suppressing his own shiver, "Just hold my eyes," He instructed, "I've got you."

Dean nodded and began slowly moving again, picking up speed as he went.

"Harder," Castiel panted, fighting to keep his eyes open.

Dean complied, trusting harder as he shifted his hips slightly.

"Fuck!" Castiel cried out at the sudden hit to his prostate. His eyes fluttered momentarily as Dean continued to hit his sweet spot with each thrust, causing his orgasm to build at an even quicker pace, and before he knew it he was right on the edge, "Dean," He got out, losing himself in the green of Dean's eyes, and then he was spilling his release across their chests, finally allowing his eyes to close.

"Fuck, baby," Dean gasped, the look in Castiel's eyes being enough to give Dean exactly what he needed for his own release and he was instantly coming, coating Castiel's inner walls with his release.

Castiel's eyes shot open at the feeling of warmth coating his insides, "Dean did you…" His eyes widened further as he realized that yes, Dean had not been wearing a condom. How could he have been so relaxed as to not notice?! What was happening to him?!

Dean slowly pulled out of Castiel collapsing next to him, "Wh-" His eyes widened too. "Fuck! Oh fuck, Cass I'm- I…I'm clean Cass, I swear I am! I've never done it without a condom before!"

Castiel relaxed instantly, rolling over to stroke Dean's cheek, "Then it's fine; I'm clean too."

"Fuck," Dean sighed in relief, as he mentally slapped himself for being so forgetful. He had never in his life forgotten protection; there was just something about Castiel… "I don't know how I could have-"

"Shh," Castiel whispered, trying to calm himself as well as Dean, "We both forgot, we just can't ever let this happen again, alright? Because first it's forgetting the condom, then it's-" He bit his tongue from saying  _I love you_ because no, that could  _never_ happen. "You get the picture," He hurried on sternly.

Dean nodded his head, "I won't," He assured before yawning, because despite the destruction of their afterglow he was still pretty exhausted.

Castiel smiled gently regaining control of his emotions, "Sleep," He whispered, placing a gentle kiss to Dean's lips.

Dean nodded, pulling Castiel in against his chest and kissing his dark mop of hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best, but it's an update and the next one will be better Let me know what you think!


	14. Ohio...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Just look at me updating all timely and shit XD Special thanks go out to JiniZ, Destielwolves17, Dragonfli, and ImnotaSatanistIjustloveLucifer for commenting and normal thanks go out to all the rest of you lovely readers, hey you know maybe if you want special thanks you should…leave me a comment for this chapter *winky-face*
> 
> Not a whole lot of plot progression here, but trust me when that shit does hit it is going to hit…probably in 4-6 chapters depending on how long I make them :) Hope you're enjoying and stay beautiful!

**Ohio…?**

" _Spent my days with a woman unkind, smoked my stuff and drank…all my wine…Made up my mind gonna make a new start, going to California with an aching…in my heart"_

Dean opened his eyes and rolled over to smile at Castiel, "Ready?"

Castiel stopped singing and furrowed his brows in confusion, "For what?"

"You'll see." Dean smiled, getting out of bed and grabbing the bags he had packed the night before after Castiel had gone to sleep.

~o0o0o0o~

Castiel's confusion continued to grow as Dean drove out of Lawrence and to Kansas City. "Dean?" Castiel asked as Dean pulled into the airport parking garage and turned the engine off. Dean remained silent as Castiel stepped out of the car after him, tilting his head in question.

"You'll see," Dean repeated, his smile only growing.

Castiel shook his head grabbing his bag from the trunk and following Dean into the airport.

"Put these in," Dean told him, handing Castiel a pair of ear buds and his MP3 player.

"Is this truly necessary, Dean?" Castiel asked, unsure of whether to be more amused or irritated.

"Yes; I want it to be a surprise," Dean insisted, still smiling like a five-year-old on Christmas.

Castiel shook his head and put the ear buds in, allowing the sound of AC/DC to block out everything around him as Dean led them through the airport.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity of processing they were sitting down on the plane and Dean finally gestured for Castiel to take the ear buds out. "No electronic devices," Dean explained, taking his music player back.

The plane began to take off and Castiel felt Dean tense up next to him. He glanced at Dean in confusion for a moment before it hit him, "You're afraid of flying!"

"Gold star for you," Dean mumbled through clenched teeth, his hand tightening on the armrest.

"Mind telling what place is so important to you that you're willing to fly there?" Castiel asked, hoping to distract his lover.

"Well it's not someplace that I want to go per say…" Dean evaded. "It's someplace a little birdie informed me that  _you_ like."

Castiel's heart squeezed at that, Dean was facing his fear of flying to take him somewhere he wanted to go? "Do I get a hint?" Castiel asked, wanting to distract himself as well as Dean now.

"I know what you're doing," Dean told him, glancing over.

"And what would that be?" Castiel asked innocently.

"You're trying to distract me from flying."

"And is it working?" Castiel asked sheepishly.

"A little," Dean smiled, taking Castiel's hand in his as the plane finally leveled out, "Thanks."

"Does this mean I get a hint?" Castiel asked, squeezing Dean's hand.

"Hmm," Dean thought a moment trying to come up with something that wouldn't give it away completely. "We have a thirty minute layover in Denver."

Castiel glared at Dean half-heartedly, "That is the shittiest hint I have ever heard."

Dean shrugged, "Maybe if you distract me during the landing you'll get another one."

Castiel nodded, accepting the challenge and settled into the two hour flight.

Thankfully there was no turbulence and the flight went overall smoothly. As they started their decent Dean turned to Castiel expectantly, his voice tight as he forced a smile, "Got that distraction ready?"

Castiel smirked, cupping Dean's cheek and bringing their lips together. Dean stayed tense for a moment uncertain about doing this on a public airplane, but the moment Castiel's tongue touched his lips he melted into the man next to him. As their kiss intensified Castiel trailed his hand from Dean's cheek to tangle in the back of Dean's spiky hair, tugging it lightly.

"God, Cass," Dean panted into Castiel's mouth, shifting to get a better angle as he gripped the back of Castiel's neck and slipped his tongue into the smaller man's mouth.

"Mmm," Castiel hummed his agreement, eagerly swirling his tongue with Dean's as he trailed his other hand down Dean's body to palm the bulge that was quickly forming in his pants. He squeezed gently earning a small moan.

Dean's mind melted further as he wrapped his other arm around Castiel's waist and nipped playfully at his lower lip.

Castiel smiled against Dean's lips and was preparing to pull down the other man's zipper when he heard a small cough. He reluctantly removed his lips from Dean's to look up and see that most of the plane was already empty and that the cough had come from a young brunette stewardess. "Yes?" He asked, his voice an octave lower than normal.

"The um…We…The plane has landed sir…s," She smiled nervously trying to hide her blush.

"Right," Dean coughed uncomfortably as he unbuckled his seatbelt and stood.

"Thank you," Castiel smiled nervously at the stewardess as he followed Dean out of their seats, "And my apologies for the um…" He gestured between himself and Dean, who was now chewing his lower lip.

"No problem," She shook her head as her hazel eyes smiled at them, "It was my pleasure or um…yeah." She nodded nervously and quickly walked the opposite way.

Dean burst out laughing as he grabbed Castiel's hand and led them off the plane.

Castiel gave him a curious look as they headed to the baggage claim, "What?"

"I didn't know if that girl was going to run screaming to the security desk or to orgasm," He chuckled, picking up their bags.

Castiel looked at Dean in puzzlement for a moment before shaking his head, "Do I get my hint now?"

"Hmm," Dean hummed, "That  _was_ some damn good distracting…Alright the state we're going to starts with an 'O', now put these in," He handed the MP3 player and ear buds back to Castiel.

Castiel's face twisted in puzzlement as he accepted the items from Dean, "You're taking me to…Ohio…?"

Dean snorted handing Castiel's bag to him so that he could hold his hand again, "God I-" Dean caught himself quickly before that dreaded 'L' word could leave his lips- "thought you were smarted than that," He hurried on, "Don't you know your Geometry? Ohio is nowhere near where we are. It's in the opposite direction!"

Castiel bit his lip from laughing as he put the ear buds in, completely missing Dean's almost-slip-up, "I believe you mean  _Geography,_ babe," Castiel chuckled.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, thankful that Castiel had missed his cover up, "That's completely what I meant."

~o0o0o0o~

The next flight passed the same as the previous, smooth and filled with Castiel trying to gain more hints as to where they were going, the only differences being its length of nearly three hours and that fact that Castiel didn't dare make out with Dean during the landing for fear of coming into contact with a less friendly flight attendant.

And due to the fact that Castiel wasn't in a lip lock with Dean as the announcements were made he finally learned where they were going.

" _Good afternoon and thank you for flying with us today!"_ Came the bubbly voice over the intercom,  _"For your safety, please remain fully seated until the plane has come to a complete stop. We hope that you fly with us again soon and welcome to Medford, Oregon. Have a wonderful day!"_

Castiel's brow furrowed, the name sounded familiar but… His eyes widened as he turned to Dean, "You're taking me to Ashland!?"

The plane came to a complete stop and Dean stood, smiling down at Castiel and offering him a hand.

"Oh my God!" Castiel exclaimed, jumping up from his seat and into Dean's arms. "No one's ever taken me here before!" He continued, releasing Dean so that they could exit the plane, "How did you…Gabriel."

"Yep," Dean nodded, he almost told Castiel the full story, but something about Gabriel's tone told him that he wanted him to stretch it, "I asked Gabe what he thought would be a good idea for our one month anniversary and he said that no one you'd been with in the last couple of years had taken you here and that you were dying to go so…" Dean shrugged, picking up their bags and leading to where the map said the car rental desk was.

Castiel couldn't speak and couldn't wipe the smile off of his face until they got into their black Toyota rental car, and even then the smile wasn't going anywhere, "You…" He shook his head unable to look at Dean as he spoke, "You're one of the most amazing, caring human beings I have ever met and anyone in their right mind would be lucky to find you and hold you forever."

"Thanks, Cass," Dean breathed, suddenly feeling like the air in the car was much thicker. "I've been thinking the same about you." He took Castiel's hand in his and gave it a light squeeze.

Castiel squeezed back and in that moment both men came to the realization that they were far from being in their right mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo nother chapter done! And yet a nother on the way! This saying fuck you to the outside world and throwing myself into my fandom and personal fitness thing is really doing wonders for my writing
> 
> P.S. The song Cass sings at the beginning is "Going To California" by Led Zeppelin and is an awesome song!


	15. B J's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um *clears throat awkwardly hoping to be forgiven for not updating* How’s everyone’s lives? Good? Good! I would say I have no words to explain why this took so long but I actually have 4 fucking school fucking projects man… ookay so I used one of the words twice, but psh anyways and also having to read through and highlight all the important stuff in previous chapters so I wouldn't forget anything(like I completely forgot that Cass sang " I can almost hear you sigh" to Dean back in chapter 10) And also I realized that Castiel's letter way back in the first or second chapter said it was July, but then I apparently forgot and stated that they started dating in August….So we'll just go with them meeting in August!… Anyways here’s the chapter, I hope you like it, please let me know and I actually promise that I’ll update soon, because only 8 days of school left!
> 
> Special thanks go out to jessielou, FaerieBerii, rest_in_beatz, Fiver26, ImnotaSatanistIjustloveLucifer, Jewel, Kisakon, Destielwolves17, maddi, and ill_interrogate_the_cat_castiel for leaving me amazing reviews and fpr not sending out an angry mob, although next time I take so long, feel free to send the mobs my way lol
> 
> P.S. I hope the overly sweet –and a bit explicit - steam in the middle makes up for the wait ;)

** BJ’s **

“This is amazing, Dean,” Castiel mused sitting down in the third row of the theater.

Dean smiled at Castiel pleased with his reaction, “I’m glad you like it…Sorry it’s not Shakespeare… I mean with this being the Shakespeare Festival and all…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Castiel grinned, leaning over to kiss Dean’s cheek, “This is perfect.”

Dean smiled back and they settled into the matinée.

~o0o0o0o~

“That was friggin awesome!” Dean exclaimed as they left the theater, “I mean seriously did you see them dancing? God it was amazing! And I still can’t believe I just met the guy who Hannibal the Cannibal ate for dinner!”

Castiel chuckled, entertained by how entertained Dean had been, “I never would have pegged you for a musical lover.”

“This was my first one,” Dean admitted, “And I loved it. Every part of it from the Chick with her weird accent to the beautiful guy sitting next to me.”

Castiel fought off a blush as he took Dean’s hand in his, “Enough about me, where do you want to next?”

“I’m starving, you?”

 “Ravenous,” Castiel nodded, “Last time I was here there was this great little place on the plaza called Munchies’…Maybe it’s still there.”

Dean nodded and let Castiel lead the way through downtown Ashland.

Obviously everything couldn’t be perfect and the restaurant was no longer there. Castiel sighed somewhat sadly and turned to Dean for help.

“I seen a place a little ways back, I think they said something about burgers…?”

Castiel’s face lit up again and Dean wished that he had his camera in his hand to take a picture of it to keep forever. “Perfect,” He beamed, letting Dean lead the way.

Dean was right and in less than ten minutes they were seated in a small place called Louie’s Bar and Grill. When the waitress came over they ordered cokes and BBQ bacon cheese burgers.

They ate their meal in a comfortable silence, occasionally pausing to simply smile at the other.

Once they finished their meal they walked the streets of downtown, window shopping and occasionally stopping into a store and the Renaissance Rose instantly became their favorite because of its unique merchandise. After purchasing each other temperature changing coffee mugs - Castiel an Alice in wonderland one with a disappearing Cheshire Cat and Dean one with a couple on the beach who had disappearing clothes – they began walking towards where the map said there was an ice cream shop.

They found it easily enough and each ate a double scoop of BJ’s Kahlua Crunch ice cream.

“This is just so… _nice,”_ Castiel sighed happily as he munched his ice cream, only vaguely aware that he had stated basically the same thing about 2.3 million times since they arrived in Ashland.  “No one’s ever been this nice to me,” He mused, more to himself than to Dean.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying this…I mean I thought you’d like it, but…I had my worries…Even with Gabriel’s help, cause you know – and speaking from experience here – older brothers like to lie.”

“No! Everything is amazing, the play, the shops, the food…The BJ’s”

Dean grinned dopey for a second before seeing an opening to break the sentimentality of the moment, “You wait till we get to the hotel and I’ll show you a BJ.”

Castiel blushed furiously, cursed himself for blushing like a 12-year-old-girl and proceeded to skilfully shoved more ice cream into his mouth to keep it busy, inevitably giving himself a brain freeze, “Ow!” He gasped in pain, clutching his head.

“Shit, Cass, I’m sorry,” Dean apologized moving to Castiel’s side of the booth and taking his head in his hands before gently pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. “Better?” He asked softly.

“Yes,” He nodded slowly clearing his throat, “But now that you’ve mentioned it, yes, I would very much like to indulge in _real_ BJ.”

It was Dean’s turn to blush then but he quickly reminded himself that “Dean Winchester DOES NOT BLUSH” and hurriedly stood from his seat, taking his ice cream in one hand and Castiel’s hand in the other as he led them from the shop.

~o0o0o0o~

They had been inside the door of their hotel room for exactly 23.05 seconds when Castiel had Dean slammed against the door, kissing him hungrily.

Dean hummed against the brunette’s lips happily as he slowly pushed himself away from the door and in the direction of where he hoped the bed was. Thankfully he was right and they were soon sprawled out across the queen-sized bed, stripping each other of their clothing as the kissed frantically.

Once naked, Dean remembered Castiel’s training in “taking things slow” - and how they had pretty much obliterated it the previous evening – and willed himself to slow down as he kissed his way down Castiel’s trembling body to his pulsing member. Castiel whimpered above him and he couldn’t resist teasing his lover ever so slightly with a few kitten licks before slowly taking just the tip into his mouth and gently tracing it with his tongue.

“Dean…” Castiel whined impatiently, reminding Dean of the first time he had done this with Castiel.

Dean chuckled, but gave in taking in as much of Castiel’s impressive length as he could.

“Oh my- Oh!” Castiel bucked his hips up impatiently into the heat of Dean’s mouth.

Dean grinned and continued on at a tortuously slow pace for what seemed to Castiel like hours, but couldn’t have been more than ten minutes.

“Dean?”

Dean reluctantly released Castiel’s member and looked up to meet his eyes, “Yeah, Cass?”

“I…It’s not that you’re job isn’t satisfactory or anything but…I would like you to…” Castiel trailed off realizing that he was about to make a request and therefor make the situation about _himself_ instead of Dean. Castiel sighed, searching for the right words to cover up his mistake.

“You want to fuck me?” Dean purred, firmly stroking Castiel from root to tip.

“Ah!” Castiel cried, tottering dangerously closer to his release, “Yes, but…I was wondering if perhaps…for the…if for your benefit, you would perhaps wish to enter _me_ this evening?” Castiel mentally rolled his eyes at himself for stuttering like an infant and would have face-palmed if his hands hadn’t been tied up stroking every inch of Dean’s skin they could reach.

Dean swallowed thickly as his cock jolted in anticipation. “You…you’re asking me if I’d like to…again?”

“Fuck me,” Castiel moaned wantonly as Dean thumbed his slit. “Yes Dean, _fuck  me_.” Perhaps if Castiel hadn’t been so lost in pleasure he would have realized that he had spoken it as a command, but as it was he was too lost in Dean’s touches to care anymore.

Dean moaned and searched frantically through his jacket pockets for lube and a condom, not wanting to make the mistake of forgetting protection again. Finally he found them and wasted no time slipping the condom on and preparing Castiel’s entrance. He lined himself up and was preparing to fuck Castiel when he again remembered Castiel’s advice on taking things slow. “I can’t fuck you, Cass,” He breathed without thinking.

“What?” Castiel nearly whined, “Why not?”

“I’ll lose myself…Like I nearly did last night,” He spoke honestly, and began to wonder when he’d turned into such a chick – oh yeah, when he’d met Castiel.

Castiel’s face fell and he lost most of his erection, “Then do…Do you want to switch places?”

“No I…” Dean swallowed thickly and reminded himself that he was not in a “normal relationship” as he phrased his next sentence. “You…You said I could fall for you, and that you just can’t fall for me right?”

Castiel paled and just like that his erection was completely gone, “Yes…”

“And you also said that we couldn't call it 'making love' but taking the previous stipulation into consideration…does that mean that I can…make love to you…but to you it would be…I don’t know…coitus?”

Castiel looked into Dean’s eyes for a moment and tried to gather himself, he knew that he shouldn’t encourage love but…”Do you mean to say that…?” He squeezed his eyes shut as a sharp pain made its way into his head.

“What! No, I don’t…no! It’s just,” Dean squeezed the bridge of his nose, becoming aware that he had completely ruined the mood.

They were both silent for a time before the pain in Castiel’s head subsided enough for him to get his thoughts in order. Finally he opened his eyes and cupped Dean’s cheek, “If making love is what you require, then by all means…” He trailed off not sure how to continue with words and bucked his hips up to meet Dean’s softening cock, to buy himself time, “proceed before we both end up hospitalized with blue balls.”

“Aye, aye, Dr.,” Dean grinned, finally relaxing somewhat as he captured Castiel’s lips with his own.

And just like that the tension was broken and the mood was more or less restored as they continued to kiss while Dean stroked them both back into hardness.

In no time they were ready to go and Dean was slowly slipping into Castiel, “Aha!” Dean gasped, overwhelmed by Castiel’s tightness and heat all over again. He rested in place for a moment to allow them both to adjust before slowly grinding his hips down.

“Dean!” Castiel cried brokenly as Dean’s cock instantly ground against his prostate.

Dean took Castiel’s cry to mean he was ready for more and soon began thrusting in and out of his lover at painfully slow pace, sucking marks across his neck and collar bone while whispering words that were too sweet to belong in Dean Winchester’s vocabulary the entire time.

As Dean continued and began thrusting harder, but not faster Castiel could only whimper the other man's name and cling to his sweat-slick body. And if Castiel was ever asked when his most intense sexual experience took place, he would have replied that it was that evening because _damn!_ he hadn't even been aware that someone was capable of entering his body so deeply and perfectly that he became lost in himself and the sensation until he heard the soft lull of Dean's voice. "Huh?" He managed to squeak out, wrapping his legs more firmly around Dean, pressing them against his lover's ass in efforts to push him in even deeper.

"God, baby," Dean gasped, pausing in order to catch his breath, because despite their slow pace he was already panting and about ready to shoot from the intensity of the situation. "Look at me."

"Wha?" Castiel breathed.

"I need you to look at me baby."

Castiel uncurled his upper half from Dean enough to rest his head on the pillow and meet Dean's eyes. And in that moment Castiel realized that of all the things that could potentially cause a slipup in his agreement with Dean and with himself, it would be Dean's eyes that would cause his ultimate undoing. Dean's electric, yet soft hazel-green eyes that seemed to hold both the entire world and nothing at all, complete with all the joy and sadness of the nearly broken man's life, stained vivid by the lust of the moment, and yet still holding an undertone of the love that Castiel was now sure that Dean felt towards him. "Dean," Was all he could whisper as he fought back tears of an emotion he couldn't quite figure out.

"Cass…" Dean whispered back meeting Castiel's perfect eyes. Castiel's eyes of safety and security, yet a promise of ultimate abandonment, clouded with so much lust that his pupils nearly swallowed the cerulean pools Dean had grown to love whole. Dean searched Castiel's eyes for the love he knew was clear in his own, but found none on the surface. Perhaps a small glimmer deep down, but all was hidden by a suddenly concerned sheen, as if Castiel knew exactly what Dean was thinking: that he – despite his better judgment – had fallen head over heels for Castiel, that he was in love with him and that if things continued to go as they were, Dean would not be able to let go of his saving grace in eleven months' time. "Close?" Dean asked instead.

"Mmhmm," Castiel nodded, twining his fingers at the back of Dean's neck to pull him down into a kiss. Castiel practically purred against Dean's lips, arching his back to rub himself up against Dean's smooth body like a cat in heat. "Please," He panted, breaking their kiss for air. "I need you."

"You need me huh?" Dean replied, grinding his hips teasingly to match his tone, hoping to ease the electricity in the air a bit. "Are you sure it's me you need and not just my cock?"

Castiel fought back a blush, confused on whether to be more embarrassed or turned on at their first use of any real dirty talk during sex. "I'm sure…although that is on the list," Castiel smirked back, rolling his hips in slow circles.

"You have a list now do you?" Dean replied, relieved that the playful dirty talk seemed to have eased the mood without making things too awkward.

Castiel just nodded, nipping at Dean's lover lip.

Dean moaned low in his throat, taking a moment to thoroughly explore Castiel's mouth before bending down to nibble his earlobe as he spoke, "And what else might be on that list, come on baby you can tell me."

"I…" Castiel faltered for a moment, again telling himself that he wasn't breaking the rules _too_ badly because Dean _wanted_ to know what he desired. "Your lips," He began and was rewarded with Dean's first hard thrust of the evening, "Gah! And tongue." Another thrust, accompanied by a slow swipe of Dean's tongue down Castiel's neck.

"Don't stop now, baby, God don't you dare," Dean grit out, finally picking up his pace in search of his release.

"You're hands are pretty high up there," Castiel whimpered out, bucking his hips to meet Dean's thrust, gasping and moaning as each thrust slammed the tip of Dean's cock into Castiel's prostate. "But, do you want to know what I need the most, Dean?"

Dean actually _shivered_ at his name being said in Castiel's even-rougher-than-normal, completely fucked-out voice. "More that my hands?" Dean asked, moving one of the hands down to stroke Castiel's pre-come dripping cock in time with his hard, but still moderately paced thrusts.

"So much more, Dean," Castiel cried in an uneven voice. "I need to feel you come inside of me again."

"Soon," Dean choked out, hovering on the edge of his orgasm.

"No," Castiel clarified, no more capable of stopping the stream of words coming from his mouth than he was able to stop what was now practically a _river_ of pre-come, seeping from his slit. "I want to feel you again like last time: Just skin on skin, your come exploding inside of me, bathing my insides with-"

"CASS!" Dean's cry of climax interrupted Castiel mid-sentence as the green-eyed man tipped over the edge into the most powerful orgasm of his life, seeing only white as he shot his white.

"Oh, Dean!" Castiel wheezed seconds later as the duel sensations of Dean's cock pulsing inside of him and Dean's hand on his own member sent him over the edge into his own little infinity of oblivion, his cock leaping wildly in Dean's grasp as he shot his release all across their chest.

"Damn…" Dean sighed, nearly a full minute later as he finally removed himself from within and on top of Castiel, to pull his condom off and toss it in the direction of the trash. Dean rolled back over to snuggle into Castiel's side and was instantly snoring softly against Castiel's chest.

Castiel however was not in the same state of post orgasmic bliss, his mind reeling about the fact that, despite what Dean suggested he call it, he had just _made love_ with Dean Winchester. The man whom he was completely, utterly, and totally NOT in love with. "Son of a bitch," Castile mumbled, burying his nose in the soft, sweat and Axe smelling spikes of Dean's hair, completely oblivious to the fact that he was now picking up Dean's vocabulary. He sighed to himself , pushing the thoughts and worries away for the time being and slowly drifting off into a deep post-coital sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for this probably not being my best work and for that getting a bit rambley in the middle there, the chapter needed length and a little plotness before the smut so I just kinda let my mind have its way with middle there on last Thursday after school when I was exhausted and sad because I hadn't spent any proper time with my girlfriend in over a week and wouldn't even be seeing her again until Monday…Anyway, I’m rambling again so, peace out and let me know what you think!


	16. I'm Rooting For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, long time no see – read? – aren't you proud of me for getting this up so fast? Just think how fast it would have been up if Facebook didn't give me links to things like "The Strangest Marriage Laws From Around The World" and "30 Celebrities Who Have Aged the Worst" lol
> 
> Thanks go out to all you lovelies reading and special thanks to JiniZ (p.s. that gif had me rolling!), Jewel, Dragonfli, Moose-assbutt, and mysmileiscorrupted for leaving me comments, they mean the world and really are what helps he keep this one going!

**I'm Rooting For You**

Needless to say, their conversation was not spoken of the next morning or the day after as they headed back to Kansas, both men pushing the words and emotions back into the deepest archives of their memory warehouses in order to settle back into the way things had been before the trip.

~o0o0o0o~

**Mid October**

Castiel wasn't answering his phone and Dean was freaking out.

"Relax, Dean," Sam soothed, "The dude's probably just busy."

"Yeah, of course," Dean mumbled back, not believing it for a second because 1) Castiel was never too 'busy' to answer his calls, 2) The only time Dean never seen or heard from Castiel for the day was on Tuesday and it was Friday, and 3)…well Dean didn't really have a good three, but he was still having a minor freak out. What if Castiel was hurt? Or worse, what if Castiel realized Dean's attachment to him and had terminated their year early? Or worse still, what if –

Just then his phone began to vibrate and Dean frantically fumbled it around to answer without bothering to look at the number, "Cass?" He asked hopefully.

"Gabriel," Came the voice of Castiel's brother.

"Gabriel? What is…is Cass okay?"

"That's actually why I'm called. Cassie, he – "

"God, please tell me he's okay," Dean pleaded.

"He's fine, Dean-o," Gabriel replied and Dean could practically hear him roll his eyes. "Just a little under the weather."

"What?"

"He was feeling crappy after you left at 2 this morning, so I took him to the doctor. He's got a virus of some kind and is pretty much comatose in his bed right now. He managed to come to long enough to tell me to call you and let you know to stay away for the next few days so that you don't catch it."

"Oh…yeah, if that's what he wants…" Dean sighed dejectedly. "Just call me if…if anything."

"Will do, Dean-o," Gabriel nodded, hanging up.

~o0o0o0o~

Dean managed to stay away until it approximately 4 am and he just couldn't relax enough to get to sleep without a warm body next to his and while worrying about the warm body that was usually there. "Son of a bitch…" Dean sighed, throwing his covers off and moving for his shoes.

He exited the house as quietly as he could so that he wouldn't wake Sam and may or may not have broken half a dozen traffic laws on the dive to Castiel's place. He used his key and crept through Castiel's house as silently as possible, feeling his way down the hall and silently slipping into Castiel's room.

Dean's heart twinged as he took in the sight of Castiel, barely visible in the dim moonlight coming in from the window, laying completely still in his bed, surrounded by about a dozen pillows clinging to one in particular as if his life depended on it.

He gently shut the door and approached Castiel's bed, debating on the best way to enter the bed without disturbing Castiel's sleep. In the end he opted to move the pile of pillows at Castiel's back, crawling carefully into their old space, and wrapping his arms gently around Castiel's middle as he pressed himself against the sleeping man's back.

Castiel shifted and moaned within the circle of his arms, before tensing up. "Who – Dean?" Castiel asked recognizing the scent of Dean on something other than the pillow he was clinging desperately to.

"Hey, baby," Dean whispered, tightening his arms slightly as he placed a soft kiss to the back of Castiel's neck.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel croaked with a weak cough. "I…I thought I told Gabriel to inform you that I was ill."

"He did," Dean confirmed.

"Then why are you here?" Castiel asked, genuinely puzzled.

Dean shifted somewhat nervously, "'Cause I was worried; I wanted to make sure you were okay…And because I missed you."

Castiel ignored the way his heart skipped a few beats at that and forced his tone to sound light and confident. "Well as you can see, I'm perfectly fine. So, you can leave now, before you become infected."

"You mean you don't have trouble sleeping without me in the bed?"

"No," Castiel sighed, "Why?"

"Well," Dean smirked, peppering Castiel's neck with kisses, "Two reasons."

"Which are?" Castiel prompted, melting into Dean's touch despite himself.

"First off all:  _I_ have trouble sleeping without  _you._ And second: you were clinging to my pillow pretty tightly for someone who's indifferent to my presence."

Castiel remained silent, unable to protest as he inhaled Dean's pillow again. "But what if I get you sick?"

Dean shrugged, "Then I guess it'll just be your turn to come and cuddle my illness away."

Castiel made a soft mewling sound in the back of his throat and was turning around in Dean's arms to capture his lips in a needy kiss. "Thank you." He whispered. "Really I –" His sentence was cut off by a hard wet cough that left the blue-eyed man breathless.

"Shh," Dean soothed, gently rubbing Castiel's back as the coughing fit subsided. "Sleep."

Castiel nodded, nuzzling his face into the crook of Dean's neck and quickly drifting off to sleep.

~o0o0o0o~

For the first time Dean could remember he woke up before Castiel.

He woke slowly to the sound of Castiel's voice, but it took home only seconds to pick up that the mumbles were clearly being spoken by a sleeping Castiel.

"Shh," Dean soothed, kissing Castiel's furrowed brow.

"Mmmph," Castiel whined, his head turning from Dean's touch. "Please, no, Alfie…please." Castiel pushed himself from Dean completely, burying his face in the pile of pillows and letting out a small whimper. "Alfie, no."

"Hey, Cass?" Dean asked worried. "Cass, baby, it's a dream. Wake up."

Castiel's body shook violently, his hands fisting the pillow so hard his knuckles turned white. "Alfie!"

"Cass!" Dean prompted, gently shaking Castiel's shoulders.

Castiel jolted and rounded on Dean, his eyes widened in fright and impossibly blue in the morning light. "Dean?" He asked, before sighing in relief and wrapping his arms around Dean's neck. "Dean."

"It was just a dream," Dean whispered, holding his lover tight.

"I know," Castiel sighed, releasing Dean and settling back onto his back, where he laid silently for a moment before slipping into a coughing fit. Castiel struggled up into a sitting position, reaching for a tissue to wipe his mouth on.

Dean watched with concerned eyes and only grew more worried when he seen a splotch of blood on the tissue Castiel was pulling away from his mouth. "Jesus, Cass! Is that blood?"

Castiel's eyes widened as he looked down and seen that, yes, he had just spat blood onto the tissue. "Yes I…" He sighed dejectedly, sounding downright pitiful and looking ridiculously small and helpless. "… Bit my tongue while coughing."

Dean gave Castiel a sympathetic look, taking the tissue and tossing it into the trash for him. "It there anything I can get you, baby?"

"I'm sick, Dean, not an invalid," Castiel snapped half-heartedly.

"Well, sure, but what's the point of being sick if you're not being waited on hand and foot?" Dean smirked, caressing Castiel's stubbled cheek.

"Green tea?" Castiel spoke softly after a moment.

"Definitely," Dean smiled softly, leaning in to give Castiel a gentle peck on the lips before sliding out of the bed.

"With honey?" Castiel added almost hesitantly.

Dean grimaced at that, "Whatever floats your boat, dude."

"It doesn't…it's repulsive," He huffed sounding simply  _done_ with the entire world. "But it feels like Heaven on my throat."

Dean smiled at that, turning the door nod, "I'll be back in a minute." He slipped, smoothly out of the door and padded towards the kitchen, stopping in the doorway where he examined all the closed cabinets, trying to remember which one he had seen Castiel grab the tea out of before. He had made his decision and was preparing to step into the kitchen when suddenly there was a hobbit there blocking his path.

"Dean-o?" Gabriel asked, tilting his head. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to make tea."

"I meant in my house."

"Cass is sick and can't come see me…I missed him so I came to see him."

"This early?"

"No…I came last night, 'cause I couldn't sleep," Dean admitted somewhat embarrassed.

Gabriel gave Dean a critical look and spoke slowly, "Wait a minute, you're telling me that my baby bro is a coughing, drooling, snotty mess in there and you're not running the other way?"

Dean made a small offended sound in the back of his throat. "No, Jesus, what kind of assholes has Cass been dating? I mean from what he said they didn't sound like the most considerate people in the world, but  _Jesus_!"

Gabriel's expression intensified as he continued to stare at Dean. "So…with my brother in his current state you're doing…what exactly?"

Dean actually rolled his eyes at that. "Seriously, Gabriel?! I thought I made it pretty clear that I'm trying to get into the kitchen to make the poor guy a cup of tea."

And then Gabriel truly shocked Dean: Pulling him into a bone-crushing bear-hug. "I'm rotting for you, Dean-o," Gabriel whispered fiercely.

Before Dean could ask what the hell he was talking about, Gabriel was out of the doorway and heading down the hallway to his room.

Dean shook his head and walked into the kitchen, opening a couple cupboards until he found, both the tea and the honey. He smiled to himself, humming softly as he prepared the tea in the cup Castiel got up in Ashland. Once the tea was steaming hot, he put a couple spoonful's of the sickeningly sweet-smelling honey in and stirred it around. Satisfied he picked up the cup and carried it carefully back to Castiel's room.

Castiel's tired face broke into a grin as he accepted the tea, taking a sip and humming as it soothed his throat.

"So…" Dean spoke, settling himself next to Castiel and resting an arm over his shoulders. "Who's Alfie?"

Castiel tensed up beside, him, sucking in a harsh breath.

"Sorry, if you don't want to talk about it," Dean hurried on awkwardly, "It's just…you were saying his name a lot in your sleep."

Castiel shook his head, brushing off Dean's apology. "Samandriel," He spoke softly.

"What about him?" Dean asked, puzzled.

"Alfie is…Samandriel." Castiel smiled lightly at the head-tilt Dean gave him, taking a sip of his tea before explaining. "The nurses in the hospital Samandriel was being treated in, could never remember how to spell or pronouns his name and one day, one of them got one of those name personalized Teddy Bears for him and since she didn't want to – and I'm quoting a seventy-one-year-old nurse here – 'fuck up the spelling of her angel's name', she just told the guy to print the example name on his bear for him." Castiel laughed softly. "So you see, he's got this five foot tall stuffed animal next to him, proclaiming that his name is 'Alfie' and so people just started calling him that…I did it as a joke more than anything in the beginning, but…" He shook his head, taking another sip of tea. "God, I miss him."

Dean took Castiel's free hand in his, giving it a gently squeeze. "Does he have a grave nearby? You know somewhere you could go visit him?"

Castiel shook his head. "No…He wanted to be cremated. So that's what his sister and I had done and then we ended up spreading his ashes in a field near him home town."

"I'm sorry," Dean whispered. "If it… I know how it is. To miss somebody so much and to no be able to go see them because they're just ashes in the wind now."

"Your mother?" Castiel asked hesitantly.

"Yeah…but let's not talk about this now. How about you finish your tea and we can take a nice hot bath together before settling in for some soup and maybe an afternoon nap?"

Castiel smiled, "That's sweet Dean, but really, I'm fine and you need to get to work."

"Actually," Dean started, "I kinda sorta texted in to my boss last night when I came over that I wouldn't be in for the next couple of days."

"But Dean, you love your work."

Dean had to bite his tongue from blurting out that he loved Castiel more, because although Dean and Castiel were both aware of Dean's love, it was an unspoken rule between them for Dean never to vocally proclaim said love. "Work can wait," He said instead, "I'll have work my entire life, I only have you for another ten months."

Castiel gave Dean a half smile as his mind reminded him once again how utterly screwed he was. "Alright," He sighed and drank down the rest of his tea, nearly purring at how good it felt on his raw throat, despite the awful flavor. "Now…did I hear something about a nice  _hot_ bath?"

Dean grinned cockily and dropped a wink, "Trust me baby, every bath that I'm in is hot."

~o0o0o0o~

And that's how they ended up in Castiel's oversized monster of a bathtub, amerced completely in steaming hot water as Dean sat behind Castiel, gently massaging Castiel's tense muscles. Castiel hummed contently, slowly turning into a limp pile of flesh under Dean's talented hands, his happy noises only interrupted by the occasional cough or sneeze.

"You know," Dean said after a particularly violent sneeze from Castiel. "If you say 'broccoli' when you're about to sneeze, you won't sneeze."

"I'll keep that in mind," Castiel chuckled, leaning back fully against Dean's chest between his parted thighs.

Dean cleared his throat and shifted somewhat under Castiel, willing his half-hard cock to deflate before Castiel noticed.

Naturally it was only a matter of times before Castiel's notices the hardness pressed up against the small of his back and let out a small breathy moan of need. "Dean," He sighed, rubbing back against him as his own cock took interest in the situation.

"Cass, you're sick and could cough a lounge out at any second," Dean chastised, "I honestly don't think an orgasm is in your best interest right now."

"But it's been nearly a  _week_ ," Castiel reminded his, dropping his voice an octave. "You've been so busy and I've been so tired…And you know what they say, Dean: an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away."

Dean cocked a brow, glancing over the brunette's shoulder to see if he was serious, "Are blaming your illness on the fact that we haven't gotten it on past a couple make out sessions this week?"

"Maybe," Castiel smirked.

"So, what you're saying is that, if I were to jerk you off, from a medical stand point, I would be benefiting your physical health? Hell possibly saving your life from this horribly infectious virus of yours. And you're serious about it?"

"Possibly," Castiel shrugged, ignoring the way his shoulders gave a painful pop. "Either that or I'm just trying to get into your pants…Dr. Winchester."

"See, Cass, and this is why people assume that we're into weird kinky medical role-play," Dean joked.

"Mm, I do enjoy a bit of costume play – the skimpier the better in fact."

"Naturally," Dean agreed, slowly smoothing one of his hands down Castiel's smooth stomach until he came to his lover's plump cock and picked up from where it was resting heavily against Castiel's abdomen.

Castiel's breath hitched and he rubbed himself back against Dean's body, shifting so that Dean's cock could press into the crack of his ass.

Dean shuddered, tightening his grip on Castiel's member as he wound his other arm around Castiel's waist to hold him in place as he experimentally began to hump himself against Castiel's warm pliant body. "This okay?" He asked, stroking Castiel's cock in time with the canting of his hips.

"Perfect," Castiel nodded, arcing back against Dean and turning his head to press his lips to Dean's jaw line.

Dean allowed Castiel to give his jaw some attention for a few moments before dipping his head down to get a proper kiss, moaning into Castiel's moth as the smaller man continued to rut back against his cock, providing him with some of the best friction he'd ever felt. "How about now?" Dean whispered, moving one of his hands down to cup and massage Castiel's balls, while the other traveled up to tweak one of Castiel's nipple just the way he liked it.

Castiel gasped, his body convulsing and sloshing even more water around the tub than Dean's movements. He planted a hand on Dean's thigh for support and reached the other behind him, searching blindly for Dean's cock.

The moment Dean realized Castiel's goal, he removed the hand from his nipple and smacked the brunette's hands away. "Uh-uh. I wanna come just like this, from humping your beautiful body alone, you just sit back and enjoy the ride."

And Castiel did, relaxing fully against Dean, placing both hands on Dean's legs as the rest of his admittedly aching muscles finally stopped hurting so much. "Shit," He panted, squirming against Dean's body, the sensation of warm water mixed with Dean's hands quickly driving him insane.

Dean moved him arm back down to wrap around Castiel's waist pulling him impossibly close, stroking his cock firmly and quickly, occasionally pausing to thumb Castiel's slit.

"Oh, Dean!" Castiel choked, fighting off another fit of coughing as he clung into Dean, desperately chasing his orgasm.

"You close, baby?" Dean panted heavily, vigorously humping against Castiel, loving the feeling of sliding between his cheeks so perfectly in the warm water, his head occasionally catching Castiel's rim, causing the man in front of him to squirm and cry out.

Castiel could only nod, his throat clicking dryly as he swallowed. "Wanna feel you come," He panted out, his nails digging into the skin of Dean's thighs as he held on for dear life.

"Fuck, baby," Chuckled dryly, his hips stuttering slightly. "I'm getting there as fast as I can."

"And I'm going to pass out from exhaustion if I don't come in the next two minutes," Castiel whimpered, making small needy noises as he bucked forward into Dean's hand.

Dean groaned at Castiel's words, trying to figure out why he was turned on by such a bazar statement. Maybe it was the sheer need in the other man's voice or maybe it was simply the fact that the other man was Castiel. Either way he would never know because with one more rough drag against Castiel's body he was coming, his vision going blurry and his hands falling from Castiel's body to grip the sides of the tub as he blindly bucked his hips up, riding out his release.

Castiel mewled the instant he felt Dean's release splatter against his entrance, the feeling of it just warmer than the water and just enough to push Castiel over the edge, coming hands free with his hips arching up out of the water as his cock pulsed wildly, coating his stomach. "De-hean!" H cried out brokenly, removing one hand from Dean's leg to pump his cock as it continued to throb, milking himself until his other arm gave out and he collapsed back into the tub and into Dean's waiting arms. Castiel's joints popped as he settled back into the tub and he groaned quietly at the intensified tickle in his throat. "That was…mmm," He hummed, reaching down to give his member one last stroke that sent a shiver through his entire body. "But I'm afraid that other than the afterglow, I physically feel like even worse shit than when we started."

Dean snorted, "I tried to tell you," He mumbled, pressing a kiss to Castiel's hair. "But  _nooooo_  you just had to have your orgasm."

Castiel smiled at Dean's joking tone, "I regret nothing."

"Good," Dean smiled, grabbing a wash cloth and gently cleaning them off before tossing it aside. "You want that soup?"

"Yes, Dean that – Broccoli!"

"What the hell was that?"

Castiel looked over his shoulder at Dean, "I was going to sneeze and the broccoli thing worked." Castiel smiled sleepily and tried to stand from the tub, barely making it half-way up before his head spun and he slowly sank back into the water.

Dean's teasing caught in his throat at the pained look on Castiel's face. "You okay, baby?"

"Fine," Castiel whispered, his head suddenly hurting too much to nod and his stomach feeling like it was trying to tie itself in a knot. "C-could we maybe skip the soup for now and go straight for that afternoon nap?"

"Of course," Dean nodded, his face contoured in concern.

"Thank you."

"You sure you're alright?" Dean asked as he helped Castiel to his feet and the blue-eyed man wobbled.

"Head rush," Castiel grit, his stomach still rolling.

"C'mere," Dean sighed, lifting Castiel into his arms and carrying him through the hall and to his room, completely naked and still dripping water.

"You're insane," Castiel sighed, sinking into the nest of pillows. "Gabe's gonna kill us for getting the floor wet."

"Let him," Dean replied, spooning himself up behind Castiel.

Castiel hummed and was nearly asleep when he spoke again, "I forgot to sing to you," He sighed, sounding upset.

"'s okay," Dean mumbled back, half-asleep himself.

"But…but I promised, Dean! I –"

"Sh," Dean cut him off, "It's fine, now go to sleep before I leave," Dean threatened emptily.

"As you wish, Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that smut was unexpect I was just gonna leave off with Dean's offer and then BAM! The smut fairy smacked my muse upside the head. Anyways hope you enjoy and let me know what you thing! Comments=more/quicker updates!


	17. The Big Guns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this taking so long, blah blah I was dumped by the girl I loved blah. But hey now I've crawled out of that pit of crying and depression and ready to jump back on the horse…well the fanfiction horse at least so here's a super extra-long chapter for all you awesome people who have been so patient with me! Thanks for reading, following, and favoriting, and special thanks to Dragonfli, rest_in_beatz, JiniZ, and mysmileiscorrupted for being awesome in general and leaving me comments, for that you get virtual hugs and cookies left over from my breakup binge cooking.

**The Big Guns**

**Late October**

"So…what do you want to do for our two month mark?" Dean asked uncertainly, due to the fact that he felt stupid for not planning ahead.

"Well…what are some things that you like?" Castiel asked, coming to sit behind Dean on the bed. "Not the big things that I already know, but little things, that just make you happy."

"I like music…and T-shirts."

"T-shirts?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "Like that one you got me last month? I love shirts with quotes or bands on them."

"I'll keep that in mind," Castiel smiled. " _But_ …since Halloween is coming up, I thought that maybe we could pick out each other's costume?"

Dean's eyes lit up and he jumped up from the bed, "Why the Hell didn't I think of that?"

~o0o0o0o~

They ended up in a mid-sized seasonal costume store that had costumes ranging from Zombie Bride to 80's Punk Rocker.

"You could always be a real life Spülbecken," Castiel offered pointing towards the fabric section, "Gabe could stick the costume up for you and everything."

Dean rolled his eyes and led them towards the actual costumes. "So what do you think, Cass," Dean smirked holding up two costumes, "Hot maid or Dr. Sexy?"

Castiel gave Dean an unamused glance before his face broke into a smile, "I'd say the second option, but to my understanding the purpose of this holiday is to be something we're not and aren't you already a hot doctor?"

Dean's smirk softened into a genuine happy smile as he shoved the costumes back onto their rack and turned to Castiel. "Oh you think I'm hot do you?"

Castiel shrugged, faking nonchalance as he headed towards the superhero section. "I suppose aesthetically speaking; you're not too overly displeasing."

Dean made a small indignant sound in the back of his throat as he came up behind Castiel, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and resting his hands on his hipbones. "You know…you're not bad there yourself."

Castiel let out one of those giggles that Dean was still shocked he liked and turned around in Dean's arms to place his arms around the other man's neck. "Who me? No…I'm just a weirdo living off of his family's inheritance whilst I spend my free time volunteering with homeless people. Really quite ghastly if you think about it."

Dean's smile only grew as he got lost within the blue pools of Castiel's eyes, "Yeah, well I think you're beautiful."

Castiel's cheeks reddened against his will and he broke eye contact to glance around at the costumes surrounding them. "Yes, but…who want to be called that these days? I don't see a single costume here baring that word." Castiel sighed dramatically, "Why can't the boys think of he as hot and sexy and…bangin?"

At that Dean actually doubled over laughing at how ridiculous and juvenile they were both acting. Almost as if they were two teenagers in -

Castiel couldn't help joining Dean, because of how light and out of character they had both been behaving since arriving at the costume shop. Like they were free and young and in -

Their laughter ended abruptly as they both thought that one single word  _Love._

Their eyes locked onto each other again and they both surged forward into the others arm, sealing their lips together in a surprisingly gently, but immensely passionate kiss. Castiel mewled softly, buring his fingers in the short locks of Dean's hair as he pulled them closer together, licking softly at Dean's plush lips and gaining instant entrance into the warm cavern of his mouth. Dan choked out a moan into the smaller man's mouth, losing track of time and the world around them as he moved his hands down into the back pockets of Castiel's jeans and pulled their bodies flush against each other.

It was Castiel who broke away first, his common sense finally waking up and notifying him that they were  _in public_. Still he kept his hands fisted in the back of Dean's shirt as he stared back into the deep forest of light that was Dean's eyes.

Dean's eyes widened as he looked at Castiel realizing that in the previous moment he hadn't even denied his thoughts and however indirectly it was, the simple fact that he had kissed Castiel in that moment instead of pulling away only proved his subconscious's point. The point it had been trying to prove for weeks –Hell  _months_.

Castiel's mind was just wrapping itself around the same concept when Castiel mentally smacked himself because  _no._ He could not be getting attached to someone. Not again, not after Samandriel. Not with Tuesdays as a constant reminder for exactly  _why_ he couldn't get attached to Dean.

Dean blinked a few times, realizing how long they'd been silently staring into each other's eyes and decided to try and break it. "Cass," He breathed, his voice low and rough. "Cass, babe, I –"

"Don't," Castiel pleaded, his nails nearly puncturing the soft cotton of Dean's shirt with how tight he was holding it. "Please don't say it."

Dean nodded, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat that had appeared with Castiel's words and the reminder of why he couldn't say what he was feeling and why he wasn't supposed to feeling it at all.

Castiel sighed in relief because he honestly hadn't know what he was going to do if Dean had gone on and said the words that were trying to rip themselves out of Castiel as well. "Thank you," He breathed, sinking forward into Dean's embrace, burying his face against Dean's chest.

Dean held Castiel to him as tightly as he could without cutting off the man he loved's air supply. "Fuck," Dean groaned almost inaudibly at the thought that had just formed itself without permission. "I am so screwed."

"What was that?" Castiel asked, finally breaking out of Dean's arms.

"Nothing," Dean sighed, "Just uh, no more chick-flicking and don to the costume hunting, yeah?"

"Yeah," Castiel nodded, turning and walking further into the shop.

Dean smiled, watching the lines of Castiel's body move as he walked away, "Hey, Cass?"

Castiel froze, his heart in his throat as he prayed to whatever gods were listening,  _please don't let his say it. Please any word but that one, please, please, plea–_ "Yes, Dean?" Castiel forced himself to turn and face Dean who was to his relief smirking playfully again.

"You know, your face may be beautiful, but your ass is sexy as fuck."

Castiel beamed at Dean's words and had to resist the urge to jump up into Dean's arms, wrapping his legs around his waist and kissing the freckled man within an inch of his life. Instead he back tracked enough to take Dean's hand in his and gently peck his cheek. "Ditto," He smiled, taking Dean's hand in his and pulling him in the direction of the Batman costumes.

~o0o0o0o~

Dean grinned at his reflection in the mirror as he straightened out his mask one last time. He looked over to the clock on Castiel's living room wall to see that it was a few minutes past eight. "Cass!" He called. "Party starts at 8:30, you ready yet?" No reply. "Cass?" Dean called again, a small jolt of panic sparking within him as he moved down the hall. "Cass?" He asked again flinging open his bedroom door to see Castiel laid out across their bed in his Robin costume, eyes closed with a purring ball of black fur on his chest. "Babe?" Dean asked moving to sit next to Castiel.

"Hmm," Castiel hummed, his eyes flickering open slowly.

"You okay?" Dean asked worriedly, carding his fingers through the other man's already ruffled hair.

"Fine," Castiel croaked. "Just…headache."

Dean's brow furrowed as he watched the pain flit across his lover's face. "You…We don't have to go, Cass, if you're not up to it."

"I assure you, Dean; I'm fine," Castiel spoke slowly, willing his head to stop pounding as he pulled himself into a sitting position. As soon as he was upright another pain shot through his head and he instantly felt nauseous.  _Stupid fucking migraines,_ he thought, sinking back down into the bed with a small whimper.

"Hey," Dean soothed, moving his hand to cup Castiel's cheek. "We're staying in."

"No," Castiel protested, "I'll stay in. You go with Gabriel, spend some time with your brother, drink a couple beers, have  _fun_."

"You're fun," Dean countered weakly, still worried about Castiel.

"Please tell me I'm losing my hearing and you did not just call my brother the "F" word?" Gabriel smirked walking in to their room in full Joker attire. "Cassie?" He asked, his smile faltering when his eyes landed on his brother. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Do you need some Aspirin? Do I need to –"

"I'm  _fine,_ " Castiel insisted, looking up to meet his brother's eyes. "It's just a migraine. I just need to lay down and get some rest."

Gabriel nodded, his shoulders relaxing slightly. "So no party?" He asked gently, coming to sit on the open side of Castiel, ignoring the curious and confused look Dean shot him.

"Yes, party," Castiel sighed, "Just not for me."

"Cassie –" Gabriel began only to be cut off.

"I don't want to hear it Gabriel you're going and you're taking this idiot with you," He gestured to Dean who let out an indignant squawk.

"You know babe, it kinda ruins the point of going to the party at the bar you met the person you're with if you don't go  _with_  the person you're with."

"First smart thing you've said all month, Deano" Gabriel grinned.

"Whatever," Castiel grumbled, sounding irritated. "But you're still going on our behalf Gabriel." Castiel huffed, flipping over to lie on his stomach and nearly squishing Rohan in the process.

"Fine, brat, get some sleep," Gabriel huffed, standing from the bed. "Deano! Walk me to the door."

Dean leaned down to place a chaste kiss in Castiel's mop of dark hair, earning him a small content sound from Castiel before following Gabriel out of the room and down the hall.

"Sorry about Mr. Crabby Pants," Gabriel spoke softly. "He gets… _off_ when his head hurts. Just, bad mood and snapping at everyone he cares about…nearly steam rolling your beloved pet." Gabriel chuckled lightly with his last words, before turning serious, "They say it's something caused by the …the pain. Something about it causing a disruption in the emotional center of the brain that causes him to act like a dick when they happen…Just give him hugs and his green tea and he'll be back to his normal lovey self."

Dean nodded, glancing back towards Castiel's room with a frown. "Does he um…Does Cass get migraines often?"

Gabriel nodded slowly, fidgeting with his car keys as they approached the front door. "Chronically, yeah…He um, he gets meds for them…injections and pills and…stuff, but…"

"They still come?" Dean offered starting to get freaked out and worried about the way Gabriel was acting…Almost as if he were picking and choosing his words too carefully…Almost as if he was skirting his way around something with half-truths. "Is that where you guys go on Tuesdays?" Dean asked, dropping his voice to a whisper. "You take him to the hospital?"

Gabriel's eyes widened almost comically, "I – you – He can't…" Gabriel looked down at his shoes dejectedly, "Yeah."

Dean nodded slowly, "And there's – there's nothing more that could be done? Nothing that's causing them that can be I don't know, taken care of?"

"No," Gabriel whispered, leaning back against the door. "Nothing that can be taken care of."

Dean licked his lips, nervous to ask his next question, "Is there…more than just headaches?"

"Dean," Gabriel spoke, his voice holding a warning tone. "It's not my place to answer these kinds of questions, it's just not."

"But Cass won't," Dean sighed. "He refuses to, always changing the subject and diverting."

Gabriel gave Dean a small sympathetic smile, "Look, Deano, I know you care for my baby bro and all, but…you have to realize his reasons. In his mind, you're not a permanent fixture, so he's not gonna open up to you about everything because in the long haul it won't be your problem. And you have to accept the fact that in ten months you're gonna be outta here and it's not gonna be your problem."

Dean licked his lips, debating on whether to spill his guts to Gabriel or not. "I…I don't want to be gone in ten months Gabriel."

"That's what they all say, De –"

"No, Gabe, I'm serious," Dean pressed on. "I want to be here, I  _want_ it to be my problem. I want to be here for Cass when he has migraines, or a cold, or fuck the Bubonic plague! I don't care, all I know is that I want to be here for him to take care of him and hold him and kiss him and tell him that I –" His voice choked off and he willed his eyes not to water.

"That you love him?" Gabriel offered, his voice soft and curious.

"Yes," Dean admitted. "That I love him."

Gabriel's face split into a grin, "I was hopin' you'd say that, Deano.  _God,_ was I hoping." He shook his head, pulling Dean into a bear hug.

Dean couldn't help smiling into the embrace. "Really?"

"Yes, really, 'cause unlike my nitwit of brother, I believe that he can find happiness with someone again for the long haul. And unlike him I believe that he deserves to be happy for as much of his life as humanly possible." Gabriel sighed, finally pushing himself up from the door. "But you know Cassie – the adorable, thick headed little shit he is – will never ask you to stay, or even consider it because of his stupid rules."

"So…I'm assuming you can tell me how I'm supposed to fix that."

Gabriel smirked, pulling a lollipop out of his pocket. "Make him break his own rules."

Dean raised an eyebrow, "That's the best you got?"

"It's all we've got, Deano. And trust me it'll work. You just have to keep showing Cassie that you care enough to not care about his flaws. Be sickeningly sweet to him and all that jazz that you've already been doing a fabulous job of…and when the time's right: pull out the Big Guns and have at it!"

Dean gave him a puzzled look, "The big guns being what exactly? Our cocks? Cause trust me Gabe we pulled those out a long time a –"

¡ _Smack!_

"No you idiot!" Gabriel hissed, pulling his hand down from where he'd just smacked Dean upside the head. "I'm taking about telling him that you love him and that you want to stay.  _Those_ are the 'Big Guns'."

"Right," Dean nodded, a light blush creeping up his neck.

"But for tonight, stick to the BB guns, yeah?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded.

Gabriel gave him one last smile and disappeared out the front door, leaving Dean in the hallway trying to wrap his head around what his life had become in the last few months. Before he could start overthinking too much he heard a soft meow and felt a soft warmth wrap itself around his ankle. "Hey Rohan," Dean smiled, leaning down to pick up the kitten. "Want some dinner?"

"Meow?"

"Yeah you can have the tuna with your dry food," He laughed, carrying the mid-sized fuzz ball with him into the kitchen. "And maybe we can whip Cass up some tea while we're at it?"

Rohan responded with another meow before digging into his bowl of food.

Dean shook his head at the rapidly growing animal and moved to the cupboard where Castiel kept his tea.

~o0o0o0o~

When Castiel drifted back into consciousness it was to the feeling of the bed dipping beside him and a warm hand on the small of his back. "Dammit," He groaned, rolling over to face the warmth. "I had hoped Gabriel had dragged you along with him at the last minute and then maybe I could get some peace and fucking quiet…or at least peace, there's never any quiet with that incessant feline lurking around and even worse with you, I mean don't you have anything better to do than spend twenty-four fucking seven hovering over me?"

Dean's eyes widened and he resisted the urge to flinch at Castiel's words. "I…I brought you tea…I thought it would help."

"Oh you wanna help me? You wanna know what would motherfucking help me? Turning off the lamp and shutting the fuck up!"

Dean did flinch this time, his expression flitting between shock, anger, and finally to hurt. "Sorry," He mumbled, setting the steamy mug down as quietly as he could, hissing as some of the liquid sloshed over the side onto his hand.

"You should be," He heard Castiel grumbled as he left the room, fleeing to the living room and settling into the couch.

He ripped the stupid Batman mask/hat/thing off of his head roughly and tossed it in the direction of the trash can as he turned on the Netflix and got lost in his own personal marathon of Dr. Sexy. He had it through three and a half episodes before Netflix decided it needed to buffer and Dean had a moment to think back to Castiel's words. Gabriel had said it was the pain that made him lash out, but all lashing out had to come from a root of truth and repressed feelings or thoughts right? Dean bit the inside of his cheek to keep the tears from spilling out if his eyes because goddamn if he was going to cry over something like this! Something so small after having been through so much worse with others, after having gotten hardened by so many others.

 _It's because you though Castiel was different,_ A small voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Balthazar whispered.  _You though Cass was all sunshine and singing, but guess what he's human just like the rest of them and in a few months he's gonna ditch you like the rest of them and there's nothing you can do about it._

And most certainly did  _not_ sniffle at that thought. "Fuck," he whispered to himself, trying to wipe away any evidence of tears on his face. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking son of a bitch," He whispered, realizing that he had started to shake.

"Dean?"

Dean whipped his head around to see Castiel standing a few feet behind the couch, blanket draped over his shoulder and over-sized tea mug in hand.

"Castiel," He whispered.

Castiel's eyes fell to the floor at the use of his full name. He bit his lip uncertainly, trying to remember what all his migraine-addled mind had made him say to Dean. It was all a bit hazy from the pain, but he could vaguely recall insulting not only Dean, but Rohan, as well as a copious amount of cursing. "I…apologize for anything – for  _what_ – I said to you earlier…As I hope Gabriel informed you, the migraines can cause me to become…not myself at times."

Dean nodded, turning back to the TV that had started to play again, after all it wasn't Castiel not being himself that had him tearing up like a complete and utter chick, it was Castiel being  _who_ he truly was under the sugar coating he apparently put on for Dean's sake.

"Thank you for the tea, it did help," Castiel offered softly, setting his mug down and perching on the arm of the chair opposite Dean who still hadn't replyed. "Dean?"

"Hmm?" Dean hummed, barely glancing away from the TV.

"What…whatever I said, you need to know that I didn't mean it."

"Oh really?" Dean grit, "So you don't wish that Rohan and I would just piss off sometimes so that you can get some peace and fucking quiet?"

Castiel flinched at his own words being repeated back to him. "No, Dean. Never would I wish for that. You and Rohan…" He swallowed thickly trying to come up with words that would gain Dean's forgiveness without laying himself completely bare. "You make my life brighter…good in ways that people in the past haven't, and I'm grateful for that. I would never willingly ask you two to leave me."

Dean grit his teeth, having to bite his tongue to keep from pointing out that that was exactly what Castiel was going to do in less than a year's time. "Fine, yeah, okay." Dean finally looked at Castiel to see him wearing a kicked-puppy look. "It's fine Castiel, really."

"I…none of the others ever seen me like that…I always called them and told them not to come or, or they'd leave the moment I stated I wasn't feeling well…but you…You just keep insisting upon staying with me no matter what and I suppose it scares because it brings us both dangerously close to…losing view on what this is we're doing here."

Dean bit his lip, nodding again. "I get that, but it's not about that, it's not about trying to change what we're doing here," Dean lied before stating something that was mostly true, "It's about me showing you that you matter just as much as I do. Showing you that…I don't just want to use you like everyone has used both of us in the past." Dean huffed, turning away from Castiel and gluing his eyes back on Dr. Sexy. He wrapped his arms around himself as he watched, feeling ridiculously open and vulnerable, and fucking  _scared_ at what he had just told Castiel.

They were both silent for a few moments before Castiel spoke again. "May I sit down with you?"

"It's your house, Castiel," Dean said, patting the cushion next to his and trying to ignore the look of hurt that flashed through Castiel's eyes at the use of his full name.

Castiel's throat felt tight and dry at the tone Dean was using and at his continual lack of nickname use. He slowly approached the couch and looked at the cushion next to Dean curiously for a moment before gently settling himself in Dean's lap and wrapping his arms around the other man's neck. "Please forgive me," His voice coming out much smaller and broken that he intended it to. He tightened his arms around Dean and began peppering kisses across his face, neck, and hair as he spoke. "Please, stop calling me Castiel, Spülbecken. Please, baby, I want to be Cass again, just Cass, please."

Dean's eyes widened in shock, uncertain as to what he was supposed to do with a borderline hysterical Castiel in his lap, pleading for his forgiveness. "Hey, shh, it's okay man," He managed to get out, wrapping his arms around the brunette's waist.

Despite himself, Castiel only grew more frantic, "Please don't call me that, please, please, please, I need you…you to not be angered with me. I – I couldn't help what I said and I didn't mean it."

"Hey," Dean whispered fiercely, moving one hand up to cup Castiel's jaw. "I forgive you okay, babe? I'm just…trying to wrap my own head around the fact that you're not everyone else I've been with, that you're you, that you're _Cass._ "

Castiel let out a whimper and resumed covering Dean in soft kisses, silently this time while internally screaming at himself to get a grip.

Dean wrinkled his nose under the attention and decided that the only way to stop the butterfly kisses was a real kiss. He quickly hit their lips together in a perfect lock and held Castiel tight as his body trembled. Dean felt Castiel's lips smile against his and could only do the same, pulling the other man impossible close as he continued to lick into the soft warmth of his mouth. Before the kiss could get too out of hand, Castiel pulled back with a wince. "Head still hurt?" Dean asked concerned.

"Yes," Castiel whispered, hating how small and helpless he was looking and sounding.

"Alright, come on." Dean shifted around on the couch so that he was leaning back against one of the arms, his legs splayed open with Castiel nestled between them.

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel whispered, settling himself against Dean's chest and losing consciousness almost immediately.

"Any time, baby," Dean smiled softly, tightening his arms around his lover as he too began to drift off to sleep.

~o0o0o0o~

When Dean woke the next morning it was to soft caresses along his side and the sound of Castiel singing Stairway to Heaven. Dean hummed contently, allowing himself to bask in the warmth of Castiel's voice and let all images and reminders of the nasty, pain-addled being from the previous night slip away because that hadn't been Castiel.  _This,_ the person snuggled into his chest singing his favorite song to him in a sleep roughened voice,  _this_ was his Cass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was unexpected this was supposed to be Halloweeen fluff and then BAM! Sick!Cass again...I think I have a problem, but anyways I don't think it was too bad, lots of mismatch mixed up emotions and what not, but I imagine that's pretty much what it would be like in Dean and Castiel's heads, so I guess it works. But anyways, let me know what you think and you'll forever be loved as well as get your name mentioned at the beginning of the next chapter


	18. We'll Sing In The Sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *in professor Farnsworth voice* Good news everyone! It's a new chapter!...Horrible news everyone, school's starting tomorrow so the next update might take a while, but til then enjoy this one(despite it being as short as my best friend XD). Special thanks go out to the following for commenting: JiniZ, Cassy, grrlplay, Madeline, Dragonfli(I won't break you heart!...Well I will, but I promise to put it back together with extra strength duct tape, like the Gorilla brand kind!), and mysmileiscorrupted(your novel of a comment had me grinning so much I couldn't even! thanks for that :D).
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. Sorry for any mistakes, this chap literally just hit me and was wrote and typed in about an hour.

**We'll Sing In The Sunshine**

**Mid November**

"Dean! Dean wake up!"

Dean groaned at the sound of Castiel's voice not coming out in the smooth wave of singing it usually did in the mornings. "Wha's wrong?" He asked, slightly panicked because Castiel  _always_ woke him up by singing.

"Nothing's wrong Dean, everything is… _awesome_!"

Dean groaned again, opening his eyes and rolling over to see a grinning and fully dressed Castiel. "Why are you up?"

"It's snowing!" Castiel beamed, jumping lightly where he was kneeling on the bed. "Come on get dressed!"

Dean couldn't help but smile at the grin on his lover's face. "Snowing? In November? In Kansas?"

"Yes!" Castiel nodded, leaning down to kiss Dean briefly, but enthusiastically before pushing himself up from the bed. "Now come on, get up!"

"But you haven't sang to me," Dean sighed, vaguely aware that he was whining, but blaming on just being woken up.

Castiel's face fell slightly before brightening again, "We'll sing in the sunshine!" He cheered, launching himself back into bed and landing on top of Dean.

"I though you said it was snowing?" Dean grumbled as he rubbed circled into Castiel's trench coat covered back.

"It is, but the sun is shining too and it's just so perfect and beautiful and…" Castiel paused a moment becoming aware of the fact that he was acting like a small child. "I would very much appreciate it if you were to accompany me outside to examine it," He dead-panned.

Dean chuckled, pulling himself out from underneath Castiel so he could sit up. "Alright, just let me get dressed."

Castiel made a small trilling noise in the back pf his throat and attacked Dean's mouth with his again, happily nipping and licking at the other man's lips as he struggled to pull himself out of bed to get ready.

~o0o0o0o~

"Is it even logical for the sun to be shining while it's snowing?" Dean asked, griping Castiel's hand just a bit tighter as his feet slid a bit on the layer of fresh snow.

"Completely," Castiel grinned, looking up at the sky as he began to sing, " _When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical."_

"Cass, what are you doing?" Dean breathed, looking around to see if anyone was staring at them yet. It was surprising no one was staring for two men holding hands, but if Castiel started singing, they would definitely have people staring and glaring them down.

" _And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily, joyfully, playfully watching me."_  Castiel sang in reply, aware that people were probably staring, but not particularly caring _."_   _But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible ,logical, responsible, practical. And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable, clinical, intellectual, cynical."_

"Cass," Dean grit, his eyes shifting to see an old couple on a bench looking at them curiously. "Seriously, what the fuck are you doing?"

Castiel rolled his eyes, "Keeping my promise!" He pecked Dean on the lips and continued,  _"There are times when all the world's asleep, the questions run too deep for such a simple man."_

"What?"

"I'm singing to you each morning Dean," Castiel explained, smile still firmly in place. "And since the weather's nice, I figured we could sing in the sunshine."

"What do you mean 'we'? If you think that I'm singing with you out here in public –"

"Oh you will," Castiel told him confidently before leaning in to nibble at his earlobe and whisper in his ear, "And if you don't: no sex for a week."

"What?" Dean most certainly did not squeak as he came to a stop. "Wait, just penetrative?"

"None," Castiel smirked, blowing at the shell of his ear. "Hell no  _touching_ , for a week."

"You can't do that," Dean gasped.

"Really? And why can't I?"

"'Cause you're supposed to give me what I need, and what I  _need_  is you!"

"No Dean, what you need is to learn how to come outside and still be comfortable with yourself as well as the world and people around you."

"And singing some stupid song is going to help with that?"

"Precisely."

"And what's my reward if I do sing?" Dean countered, becoming increasingly aware of the old couple who was now watching them with amused looks on their lined faces.

"Well sex, obviously," Castiel spoke slowly as if Dean had a learning disability.

"Plain ole vanilla sex? Oh come on, baby, I know you can do better than that…"

Castiel wracked his brain for a moment before it hit him. "What if we tried that thing."

"That 'thing'?" Dean asked with a knowing smirk.

"The one you told me about from that magazine."

"Ooohhh, that thing," Dean smiled, his cock giving an interested twitch at the idea. "I suppose that would suffice."

Castiel rolled his eyes at Dean's formality and began walking again. They walked in silence for a few moments before Castiel cleared his throat, "I'm waiting, Dean."

Dean sighed nervously, sucking in a breath and burst out singing right as they reached the old couple,  _"Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned I know it sounds absurd, but please tell me who I am."_

Castiel smiled and sang the next verse. " _Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical, liberal, fanatical, criminal. Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!"_

Dean gave his lover a smirk and eyebrow raise as if to ask ' _Is that the best you got?'_ Castiel raised his eyebrows back and Dean burst into his own vocal rendition of the song's instrumental solo.

By the end of it, Castiel was doubled over laughing, struggling to stay on his feet and the old couple were clapping happily at the performance.

Dean blushed at himself and took a small bow to the smiling couple on the bench before grabbing Castiel's hand and tugging him away, still laughing.

~o0o0o0o~

By the time they arrived back at Dean's house they were both wet and freezing cold from an impromptu snow ball fight halfway through their walk.

"Come on, shower," Dean got out between chattering teeth.

Castiel hummed in agreement, stopping in the laundry room with Dean to strip their clothing off before walking down the hall to the bathroom in just their boxers.

Despite being freezing cold Dean was still smiling like an idiot as he turned on the shower to its hottest setting and stumbled in with Castiel wrapped around him, kissing his neck as if his life depended on it. Dean sighed as the steamy water cascaded over them and they finally stopped shivering so violently. "You good Cass?" He asked, reaching for the body was.

Castiel only hummed, nuzzling at Dean's throat and pulling his body flush to Dean's.

Dean chuckled at the gesture and set the body was down in favor of groping Castiel's ass. "That your shampoo bottle or are you just happy to see me?"

Castiel remained silent and only ground their hips together slowly.

Dean choked, nearly stumbling out of the shower as he caught himself on the wall. "Come on Cass, what's going on in that head of yours? You gotta tell me man."

"What we talked about on the walk," Castiel breathed, his cheeks flushing and his cock throbbing against Dean's thigh. "About the  _thing_ and how good it's gonna feel…And how I'm gonna make you come so hard you're gonna feel it at work for a  _week._ "

"Fuck," Dean gasped, his own cock taking an interest. "Then what are we waiting for?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for ending it there, but truth is I'm not really sure what the thing is so…suggestions along with your comments maybe? Until next time my lovelies!

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think? Good, bad, awesome, complete crap? Please let me know and if you like it the next chapter shall be up by Tuesday :D


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